IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The charts below show the percentageof volunteers by organizations in 2008 and 2014.

The charts below show the percentageof volunteers by organizations in 2008 and 2014.
The pie chart gives data related to
proportion
Add an article
the proportion
show examples
 of volunteers based on organization types in 2008 and 2014.
Overall
Linking Words
, some categories
such
Linking Words
 as
Enviromental
Correct your spelling
environmental
 and Art
were
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
declined over the period
while
Linking Words
Enviromental
Correct your spelling
environmental
 and Others categories
indicates
Change the verb form
indicate
show examples
 an
increased
Replace the word
increase
show examples
.
According to
Linking Words
 the data, Educational
was
Verb problem
had
show examples
 the highest percentage of volunteers by group with 24% in 2008. Six years later, the proportion of it showed a drop from 24% to 17%.
Similarly
Linking Words
, the data for Art members
also
Linking Words
had shown
Wrong verb form
showed
show examples
 a decline
by
Change preposition
of
show examples
 6%.
In contrast
Linking Words
, environmental
activist
Fix the agreement mistake
activists
show examples
 shared an increase in the percentage from 21% in 2008 to 29% in 2014. In 2014, Health Care displayed a
slightly
Change the adverb
slight
show examples
 increase at around 8% which is 1% higher than
percentage
Add an article
the percentage
show examples
 in 2008.
Futhermore
Correct your spelling
Furthermore
, a significant
rose
Replace the word
rise
show examples
Linking Words
also
Add a missing verb
was also
show examples
 witnessed in
sport team
Fix the agreement mistake
sports teams
show examples
 that involved 10% in 2014 compared to 15% involvement in 2008.
Dispite
Correct your spelling
Despite
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
these
increase
Fix the agreement mistake
increases
show examples
,
Others
Correct article usage
the Others
show examples
 category showed a drop from 15% to 9% in 2014.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "also".
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Vocabulary: The word "showed" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "data" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "declined" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "drop" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 4 times.
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