Of late, it is believed that students studying in secondary school and high school should be taught how to manage money as it is an important life skill. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this argument?

#students #school #money #life #skill #argument

Nowadays, some people think that students learn about how to manage

money

as it is an important life skill from secondary school and high school. If they know about

this

Correct determiner usage

these

show examples

things,

then

they easily

managed

Wrong verb form

manage

show examples

. I totally agree with

this

statement and I will explain the reason in

this

essay.

To begin

with, It is a good thought

learn

Fix the infinitive

to learn

show examples

about

money

and how to tackle

and

Correct pronoun usage

it and

show examples

why it is so important. To explain,

money

is play

Change the verb form

plays

show examples

important

Correct article usage

an important

show examples

role in

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

everyone

Change noun form

everyone's

show examples

life. If we are not understanding how to use and manage,

then

we face challenges in life. As per a survey by The WHO report, every

years

Change to a singular noun

year

show examples

a lot of people status move from rich people to poverty, because they have no

skill

Fix the agreement mistake

skills

show examples

to manage.

Moreover

, when children

learned

Wrong verb form

learn

show examples

in school, they have knowledge of various

precespective

Correct your spelling

perspectives

like investment, and

save

Wrong verb form

saving

show examples

money

On the other hand

, If

anythings

Fix the agreement mistake

anything

show examples

has pros

then

absolutely some corns. If taught in schools,

then

few

student

Change to a plural noun

students

show examples

more interested in

money

rather than

study

Wrong verb form

studying

show examples

and find easy and shortcut

way

Fix the agreement mistake

ways

show examples

for earning

Change preposition

to earn

show examples

money

. As per a report by BBC News, in

this

modren

Correct your spelling

modern

world, children are doing many types

Change preposition

of works

show examples

works

Correct subject-verb agreement

work

show examples

, starting a job, and criminal activities.

While

they are the future of the nation, we have tried to guide and help them. In conclusion, if we are looking at both these arguments,

then

found

Wrong verb form

find

show examples

solution

Correct article usage

a solution

show examples

its more

benfits

Correct your spelling

benefits

then

Correct your spelling

than

show examples

loss

Fix the agreement mistake

losses

show examples

. The adults easily understand

Correct article usage

the values

show examples

values

Fix the agreement mistake

value

show examples

money

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

and

learned

Wrong verb form

learn

show examples

finanical

Correct your spelling

financial

skills.It is

benficial

Correct your spelling

beneficial

for

those

Correct determiner usage

the

show examples

future.

Submitted by lavneet.kumar45 on Tue Dec 05 2023

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Task Achievement

To improve your task achievement, ensure you fully address all parts of the task. Provide a more balanced view and develop your arguments effectively with specific examples. Also, make sure that your position on the topic is clear throughout the essay.

Coherence and Cohesion

Work on developing a more logical structure for your essay. This involves having a clear progression of ideas, improved paragraphing, and appropriate use of cohesive devices.

Task Achievement

Support your main points with specific examples and details to strengthen your arguments. Examples should be relevant and clearly linked to the points you are making.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

firstly
secondly
thirdly
in additional
moreover
also
for example
for instance
therefore
however
although
even though
despite

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6Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
33Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

251 words

4.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Of late, it is believed that students studying in secondary school and high school should be taught how to manage money as it is an important life skill. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this argument?

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

‘It is important for foreigners to know something about the history and culture of the country they live in.’ Discuss. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Smoking not only harms the smoker, but also people nearby. Therefore, smoking should be banned in public places. To what extend do you agree or disagree?

Do you think the advantages of charging people for admission to museums outweigh the disadvantages?

In the modern world, people no longer need to use food or products from animals, such as medicine and clothing. Do you agree or disagree with that statement?

At present, science is developing quickly, but some people still have a high opinion of artists. What can the arts tell us of life that science cannot?