Of late, it is believed that students studying in secondary school and high school should be taught how to manage money as it is an important life skill. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this argument?

#students #school #money #life #skill #argument

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?

Nowadays, some people think that students learn about how to manage

money

as it is an important life skill from secondary school and high school. If they know about

this

Correct determiner usage

these

show examples

things,

then

they easily

managed

Wrong verb form

manage

show examples

. I totally agree with

this

statement and I will explain the reason in

this

essay.

To begin

with, It is a good thought

learn

Fix the infinitive

to learn

show examples

about

money

and how to tackle

and

Correct pronoun usage

it and

show examples

why it is so important. To explain,

money

is play

Change the verb form

plays

show examples

important

Correct article usage

an important

show examples

role in

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

everyone

Change noun form

everyone's

show examples

life. If we are not understanding how to use and manage,

then

we face challenges in life. As per a survey by The WHO report, every

years

Change to a singular noun

year

show examples

a lot of people status move from rich people to poverty, because they have no

skill

Fix the agreement mistake

skills

show examples

to manage.

Moreover

, when children

learned

Wrong verb form

learn

show examples

in school, they have knowledge of various

precespective

Correct your spelling

perspectives

like investment, and

save

Wrong verb form

saving

show examples

money

On the other hand

, If

anythings

Fix the agreement mistake

anything

show examples

has pros

then

absolutely some corns. If taught in schools,

then

few

student

Change to a plural noun

students

show examples

more interested in

money

rather than

study

Wrong verb form

studying

show examples

and find easy and shortcut

way

Fix the agreement mistake

ways

show examples

for earning

Change preposition

to earn

show examples

money

. As per a report by BBC News, in

this

modren

Correct your spelling

modern

world, children are doing many types

Change preposition

of works

show examples

works

Correct subject-verb agreement

work

show examples

, starting a job, and criminal activities.

While

they are the future of the nation, we have tried to guide and help them. In conclusion, if we are looking at both these arguments,

then

found

Wrong verb form

find

show examples

solution

Correct article usage

a solution

show examples

its more

benfits

Correct your spelling

benefits

then

Correct your spelling

than

show examples

loss

Fix the agreement mistake

losses

show examples

. The adults easily understand

Correct article usage

the values

show examples

values

Fix the agreement mistake

value

show examples

money

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

and

learned

Wrong verb form

learn

show examples

finanical

Correct your spelling

financial

skills.It is

benficial

Correct your spelling

beneficial

for

those

Correct determiner usage

the

show examples

future.

Submitted by lavneet.kumar45 on Tue Dec 05 2023

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Task Achievement

To improve your task achievement, ensure you fully address all parts of the task. Provide a more balanced view and develop your arguments effectively with specific examples. Also, make sure that your position on the topic is clear throughout the essay.

Coherence and Cohesion

Work on developing a more logical structure for your essay. This involves having a clear progression of ideas, improved paragraphing, and appropriate use of cohesive devices.

Task Achievement

Support your main points with specific examples and details to strengthen your arguments. Examples should be relevant and clearly linked to the points you are making.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

firstly
secondly
thirdly
in additional
moreover
also
for example
for instance
therefore
however
although
even though
despite

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

6
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
33
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

251 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

<4
band
The given illustrations depict the progress of tools used for cutting in the Stone Ages.
The given illustrations depict the progress of tools used for cutting in the Stone Ages.
5.5
band
Nowadays the difference between countries are becoming less evident because we see the same Tv shows, advertisements, fashion and follow the same brands
National variations are less noticeable these days because widespread dissemination of global media platform, fashion and brand. In this essay, the merits and demerits of homogenized media will be discussed.
8.5
band
You recently attended a meeting at a hotel. When you returned home, you found you had left some important papers at the hotel. Write a letter to the manager of the hotel. In your letter • Say where you think you left the papers. • Explain why they are so important. • Tell the manager what you want him/her to do.
I hope this letter finds you in good health and high spirits. I am writing this letter to request a return of my documents which are left behind.
6.5
band
Many governments think that economic progress is their most important goal. Some people, however, think that other types of progress are equally important for a country. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
Although many governments intend economic advancement as their most significant aim, other communities believe other aspects of development are essential for a country. In this essay, I discuss both these views and represent my viewpoint. On the one hand, the economy is the main source of income for the union. Hence, the main focus of the ministry is on economic development to earn money. As managing a country requires financial sources, economic development plays a key role in this regard. For example, building new roads and highways, new hospitals schools and malls require money which not only provides services for all the community, but also provides work opportunities for citizens to earn money. Even though the economy is very important for the nation, human needs are unlimited in economic aspects. Unless cultural and social needs are considered by governments, citizens will not be satisfied by their lives in their society. For example, the public requires education systems to...
5.5
band
in many countries new homes are needed but the only space available for building them is in the countryside. some people believe it is important to protect the countryside and not build new homes there what is your opinion ? give reasons and examples
People argue that it is important to protect rural areas and not build new houses there.

Of late, it is believed that students studying in secondary school and high school should be taught how to manage money as it is an important life skill. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this argument?

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

The given illustrations depict the progress of tools used for cutting in the Stone Ages.

Nowadays the difference between countries are becoming less evident because we see the same Tv shows, advertisements, fashion and follow the same brands

Many governments think that economic progress is their most important goal. Some people, however, think that other types of progress are equally important for a country. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

in many countries new homes are needed but the only space available for building them is in the countryside. some people believe it is important to protect the countryside and not build new homes there what is your opinion ? give reasons and examples