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Band 4.5

Human activities have a negative effect on plant and animals species. Some people say that it is too late to do anything. Some people think that we should take effective action to improve the situation. Discuss both sides and give an opinion

#activities #effect #plant #animals #species #people #action #situation
Human activity in every manifestation has a harmful effect on our planet and environment. And the very important and an integral part of our climate system are plants and animals. Everything in our ecosystem has to exist in harmony. I believe that it is never too late to
change
 something , and we can improve the situation if all the people work together. The major problem is that many humans do not understand that they can
change
 everything only with a few simple measures.
For example
, people do not have to
change
 their lives to not disturb
wildlife
, they just must follow the rules like
do
Verb problem
apply
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not
drop
Wrong verb form
dropping
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 litter everywhere,
use
Wrong verb form
using
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the
Correct article usage
apply
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sorting containers and in forests keep
noize
Correct your spelling
noise
 to a minimum and not
light
Wrong verb form
lighting
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 a fire. I absolutely agree that we are able to
change
 the situation with endangered species of plants and animals
,
Remove the comma
apply
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 if we take effective action. Many problems with
wildlife
 are related to climate
change
 and global warming.
Furthermore
, it can be applied to natural disasters
such
 as drought, flood , earthquakes etc. These catastrophes have a harmful impact on plants and animals, but all these casualties are caused by human activity, not just by one person. Nowadays, still industrial companies
which
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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are not sustainable enough. They damage our environment and
wildlife
 by exhaust fumes , dumping waste into the ocean and using fossil fuels. In conclusion,
while
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
companies mislead the world about their sustainability, eco-friendly organisations
such
 as "Greenpeace" can save our planet and
wildlife
, but if all people work together we can improve the situation much faster and easier.
Submitted by sofia.varvus on

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coherence cohesion
The essay slightly lacks logical progression. Ideas should be organized into well-structured paragraphs with clear topic sentences.
coherence cohesion
Including an introduction that clearly states the purpose of the essay and a conclusion that summarizes the main points can enhance its overall structure.
coherence cohesion
Develop main points by supplementing them with more detailed and sophisticated explanations and relevant examples.
task achievement
Ensure you address both views of the argument and provide a balanced discussion before presenting your own clear opinion.
task achievement
Ideas presented within the essay should be more developed for clarity and depth to achieve a more comprehensive response.
task achievement
Use of specific examples and evidence to support your arguments would strengthen the essay and add to task achievement.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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