More and more fathers are taking break from their careers so that they can stay home and take care of their children while their wives work. This is better for the family than having both parents work full time. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion.

#fathers #careers #home #care #children #wives #work #parents #time

More and more

fathers

decide to resign from their jobs to nurture their

kids

while

their wives work.

This

decision is believed to bring more advantages than being a full-time working parent. I totally agree with

this

statement that

fathers

should look after their

kids

. The golden age is the period when

kids

need more affection from their parents.

Fathers

should have more time for

the

Change the word

their

show examples

kids

so that their milestones will be achieved. Affection is a fundamental part of

kids

' development, and it should be gained at an early age. By getting

this

aspect directly from the

fathers

, the

kids

' opportunity to succeed in the future will be guaranteed. Another reason why

this

is a good decision taken by

fathers

is the cost of babysitting. In several countries, the payment to put

kids

in daycare is expensive, and it becomes a burden for parents' budgeting.

This

condition will lead to stress for the parents.

To sum up

, nowadays,

fathers

nurture their

kids

at home

instead

of working. I totally agree that

this

trend has two advantages.

Submitted by ru.kabiru.biru on Tue Dec 05 2023

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coherence cohesion

Ensure each paragraph has a clear and distinct main idea that is related to the topic. The introduction and conclusion should be more developed to provide a comprehensive overview and strong final thoughts on the argument presented.

task achievement

The essay needs to address the prompt more comprehensively. Cover a wider range of aspects and ensure an equal discussion of both sides of the argument to meet the task requirements fully. The prompt asks for the extent of your agreement or disagreement, which means that a more nuanced response might be appropriate.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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4Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

177 words

4.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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More and more fathers are taking break from their careers so that they can stay home and take care of their children while their wives work. This is better for the family than having both parents work full time. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion.

Fully explain your ideas

Demand for gas and oil is increasing and so finding new sources in remote and untouched area is a necessity. Advantages outweigh disadvantages

Children at secondary school are often taken on visits to museums, zoo and concerts and sometimes even to other countries. What do you think the advantages and disadvantages of such visits are?

People in many countries are spending less time with their family. What are the reasons, and effects of this?

You have a problem with a recently hired employee in your workplace. Write a letter to the HR manager. In your letter describe the problem the new employee has caused Explain how other colleagues feel about the new employee's conduct Say how you expect the manager to address the situation.

Some modern artists receive huge sums of money for the things they create, while others struggle to survive. Governments should take steps to resolve this unfair situation. To what extent do you agree or disagree?