Some people believe that the best way to teach children to behave well is through punishment, others disagree and point out that rewarding and praising them is better. Discuss both views and give your own opinion

#people #children #punishment #point

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Some people argue that imposing disciplinary action is the most effective way to teach offspring to act appropriately,

while

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others oppose

this

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idea and believe that applauding and rewarding is good. On one hand, punishment plays a vital role in shaping young

children

Use synonyms

to behave in a correct manner for the reason that it can provide immediate consequences for their

misbehavior

Change the spelling

misbehaviour

show examples

For instance

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, removing certain privileges that the

children

Use synonyms

enjoy when they do not follow the rules of society.

Thus

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, we can make them understand the consequences of their actions and motivate them to make better choices in the future.

On the other hand

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, those who believe that rewarding and praising are more good may be

due to

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the fact that

children

Use synonyms

have different understandings and learning styles. Many

children

Use synonyms

are encouraged to do good things when they are commended for a job well done.

While

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some are more motivated when somebody gives them gifts. An example of

this

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Remove the comma

apply

show examples

is when you treat them to watch their

favorite

Change the spelling

favourite

show examples

movies or eat outside and play afterwards.

Linking Words

Thus

Correct your spelling

This

show examples

will drive them to keep

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

up with their learning process and

engaged

Wrong verb form

engage

show examples

in more activities

that

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Change the verb form

are

show examples

acceptable in

todays

Change to a genitive case

today's

show examples

society. In conclusion, punishment can help

children

Use synonyms

to be

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

better

individual

Fix the agreement mistake

individuals

show examples

become

Correct word choice

and become

show examples

wise in

decision making

Add a hyphen

decision-making

show examples

While

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giving rewards and praise will give them

motivation

Change the article

the motivation

show examples

to keep going in acceptable ways.

Submitted by joydv88 on Wed Dec 06 2023

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introduction conclusion present

Ensure the introduction and conclusion are fully developed and clearly present the essay's main argument and summarised viewpoints. In this essay, more effort could be made in synthesising these components to anchor the discussion solidly.

logical structure

The essay displays a decent level of coherence and cohesion, but transitions between ideas can be made smoother. More varied connectives and clearer topic sentences could help with fluidity and the logical structure of the argument.

supported main points

Your main points are generally supported but could benefit from more elaborate and nuanced examples. Consider using more specific and detailed illustrations to substantiate your arguments and enhance the essay's persuasive power.

complete response

While the response addresses the task and presents ideas on both views as well as a personal stance, the response could be developed further. The essay would benefit from a clearer, more comprehensive exploration of the reasoning behind both viewpoints, providing a more in-depth analysis of the topic at hand.

clear comprehensive ideas

Your ideas are clear but need more development to be truly comprehensive. Delve deeper into the reasoning behind each viewpoint, and work on presenting a more nuanced discussion. Convey your thoughts in a way that demonstrates a higher level of understanding and critical engagement with the topic.

relevant specific examples

While some relevant examples are provided, aim to integrate more varied and specific instances to support your arguments. Tailor these examples to directly reflect upon and emphasize the points being made, enhancing the overall relevance and clarity of your argument.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

7
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
13
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

229 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

Behavioral norms
Social boundaries
Consequences
Resentment
Positive reinforcement
Approval
Extrinsic motivation
Intrinsic motivation
Consistency
Clear communication
Psychological research
Practical outcomes
Discipline
Nurturing
Behavioral psychology
Operant conditioning
Constructive criticism

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Some people believe that the best way to teach children to behave well is through punishment, others disagree and point out that rewarding and praising them is better. Discuss both views and give your own opinion

Your opinion

In recent years, many small local shops have closed because customers travel to large shopping center or mall to do their shopping. Is this a positive or a negative development?

University students should pay the full cost for their own study because a university education benefits individuals rather than society. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Write a letter to your manager to request setting up a cafeteria for the staff. In your letter, you should tell: what you heard about the inconvenience from the staff how you feel about it what suggestions you have

Some people think that environmental problems are too big for individuals to solve, while others think that the government cannot solve these environmental problems unless individuals make some action. Discuss both views and give your opinion.