Some people believe that the best way to teach children to behave well is through punishment, others disagree and point out that rewarding and praising them is better. Discuss both views and give your own opinion
Some people argue that imposing disciplinary action is the most effective way to teach offspring to act appropriately,
while
others oppose this
idea and believe that applauding and rewarding is good.
On one hand, punishment plays a vital role in shaping young children
to behave in a correct manner for the reason that it can provide immediate consequences for their misbehavior
. Change the spelling
misbehaviour
For instance
, removing certain privileges that the children
enjoy when they do not follow the rules of society. Thus
, we can make them understand the consequences of their actions and motivate them to make better choices in the future.
On the other hand
, those who believe that rewarding and praising are more good may be due to
the fact that children
have different understandings and learning styles. Many children
are encouraged to do good things when they are commended for a job well done. While
some are more motivated when somebody gives them gifts. An example of this
,
is when you treat them to watch their Remove the comma
apply
favorite
movies or eat outside and play afterwards. Change the spelling
favourite
Thus
will drive them to keep Correct your spelling
This
it
up with their learning process and Correct pronoun usage
apply
engaged
in more activities Wrong verb form
engage
that
is
acceptable in Change the verb form
are
todays
society.
In conclusion, punishment can help Change to a genitive case
today's
children
to be a
better Correct article usage
apply
individual
Fix the agreement mistake
individuals
become
wise in Correct word choice
and become
decision making
. Add a hyphen
decision-making
While
giving rewards and praise will give them motivation
to keep going in acceptable ways.Change the article
the motivation
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introduction conclusion present
Ensure the introduction and conclusion are fully developed and clearly present the essay's main argument and summarised viewpoints. In this essay, more effort could be made in synthesising these components to anchor the discussion solidly.
logical structure
The essay displays a decent level of coherence and cohesion, but transitions between ideas can be made smoother. More varied connectives and clearer topic sentences could help with fluidity and the logical structure of the argument.
supported main points
Your main points are generally supported but could benefit from more elaborate and nuanced examples. Consider using more specific and detailed illustrations to substantiate your arguments and enhance the essay's persuasive power.
complete response
While the response addresses the task and presents ideas on both views as well as a personal stance, the response could be developed further. The essay would benefit from a clearer, more comprehensive exploration of the reasoning behind both viewpoints, providing a more in-depth analysis of the topic at hand.
clear comprehensive ideas
Your ideas are clear but need more development to be truly comprehensive. Delve deeper into the reasoning behind each viewpoint, and work on presenting a more nuanced discussion. Convey your thoughts in a way that demonstrates a higher level of understanding and critical engagement with the topic.
relevant specific examples
While some relevant examples are provided, aim to integrate more varied and specific instances to support your arguments. Tailor these examples to directly reflect upon and emphasize the points being made, enhancing the overall relevance and clarity of your argument.
Your opinion
Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.
If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.
Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:
...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?