IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The table and charts below give information on the police budget for 2017 and 2018 in the are of Britain. The table shows where the money came from and the charts shows how it was distributed.

The table and charts below give information on the police budget for 2017 and 2018 in the are of Britain. The table shows where the money came from and the charts shows how it was distributed.
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The given table depicts data about sources of
police
Use synonyms
 budget in a particular area in England,
while
Linking Words
 the pie chart illustrates
about
Rephrase
apply
show examples
three categories of spending; Salaries, Technology, Buildings and transport within two years (2017 and 2018). At a glance, the majority of the
police
Use synonyms
 financial resources are contributed by national government and local taxes as
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
can be seen from the table. Meanwhile,
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 big portion of the money spent was
for
Change preposition
on
show examples
 salaries. On the table, from 2017 until 2018, the biggest contribution
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
 the
police
Use synonyms
 budget was
done
Verb problem
made
show examples
 by
national
Add an article
the national
show examples
 government with 175.5
m
Use synonyms
 to 177.8
m
Use synonyms
.
In addition
Linking Words
, the second big contribution came from local taxes with 91.2
m
Use synonyms
 in 2017 and 102.3
m
Use synonyms
 in 2018. On the pie chart, during 2017, the biggest portion of spending went to salaries of the
police
Use synonyms
 officers and
staf
Correct your spelling
staff
 accounted for 75% and in 2018 it experienced a slight
decrese
Correct your spelling
decrease
 to 69%.
Moreover
Linking Words
, the usage of finance for Technology
and
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
Buildings and transport in 2017
8
Add a missing verb
was 8
show examples
% and 17% respectively.
In addition
Linking Words
, there was a
remaind
Correct your spelling
remained
 steady
for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
money spent on Buildings and transport (17%) in 2018 but a significant improvement
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
budget
Add an article
the budget
a budget
show examples
 for technology (14%).

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "in addition".
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words police, m with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "give" in your introduction.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "table" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.
▼
What to do next:
Look at other essays: