IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4.5

You are going to do a computer course at your local college. Write a letter and mention: - Why do you want to do this course? - Have you any educational background and computer skills. - Ask some questions about the course.

#computer #course #college #background #skills #questions
Dear Sir/Madam, I am writing
this
 regarding my interest
to join
Change preposition
in joining
show examples
 a computer
course
 in your college. Undoubtedly, technology is advancing at
fast
Correct article usage
a fast
show examples
 pace
however
, in Punjab courses related to
computer
Fix the agreement mistake
computers
show examples
 are not available. It is only your college
that is
 offering
this
course
 ,and I am looking to start my career in
field
Add an article
the field
show examples
 of technology and
this
course
 will aid me in doing so. I have done diploma in computer science
therefore
, that study will make it easy for me to pursue
to
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apply
show examples
this
 subject.
Additionally
, I have knowledge about languages like javascript,
C++
Correct word choice
and C++
show examples
 which is
also
 a plus point. I have some doubts regarding the fee structure ,and I want to know whether
this
course
 will be full-time or part-time .
Moreover
, which intake will be available for
addmissions
Correct your spelling
admissions
admission
this
 year
.
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?
show examples
Lastly
,
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
 there any scholarship programmes available for learners with good grades? I look forward to hearing back the answers
of
Change preposition
to
show examples
 my questions. Yours sincerely, Gill
Submitted by gill.g24 on

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coherence cohesion
Ensure that the letter contains well-structured paragraphs, each with a clear central idea. Use cohesive devices effectively to link ideas and sentences.
task achievement
Maintain consistency in your tone, ensuring that it is appropriately formal for the context of a letter to an educational institution.
task achievement
Devote one short paragraph to each task bullet point to make the letter well-organized, and make sure each query is fully developed and pertinent to your situational context.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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