Some people say that music is a good way of bringing people of different cultures and ages together. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?
Music
is one of the most crucial types of art and it has evolved at the same speed with the advance of humanity. For
this
reason, most people argue that it is linked to our cultures. I staunchly believe that music
has a myriad of merits, among them it is considered a valuable method for knowing the deepest roots of different cultures. In this
essay, I will explain my reasons in detail.
To begin
with, music
was created as a source of pleasure due to
the impact that has on our brains by stimulating the release of neurotransmitters. Thus
, currently, there are hundreds of genres that inspire our lives daily such
as 'Country', 'Jazz', 'Rap', 'Opera', etc. However
, despite being one of the most common leisure activities, many people use it as a resource of historical information, mainly those songs or artists that have widely influenced our communities. For instance
, in Colombia, it is mandatory that teachers who dictate art classes must give lectures about the most remarkable events related to music
. As a consequence
of this
, most students have a strong sense of belonging when they are practising and composing their own lyrics.
Additionally
, there are many songs that have been considered inappropriate content with controversial meanings due to
their messages against social issues that most communities have faced. Therefore
, some musicians are criticized and even listening to their songs is not allowed. For example
, in Venezuela, there was a rapper called "Canserbero" who used to criticize the governors in his Country in order to struggle in favour of the rights of the population. Finally
, he died owing to unknown reasons, and many other rappers have begged for justice for his crime in their compositions.
To sum up
, music
is an artistic way to learn more about other kinds of information such
as history and cultural events. This
should be appreciated not only because of the pleasure that generates us but also
the invaluable meaning in humankind.Submitted by luciaagudelomotta on
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Your essay would benefit from a clearer thesis statement in the introduction, outlining your main points. This helps readers understand the direction and scope of the essay from the beginning.
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Try to ensure that each paragraph has a clear main idea and that all sentences within the paragraph support that main idea.
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Consider providing more specific examples to support your claims, especially in the second body paragraph. This will make your arguments more convincing.
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Proofread your essay to avoid minor grammatical errors, such as 'dictate art classes' (should be 'teach art classes') and 'due to the impact that has' (should be 'due to the impact it has'). These small mistakes can affect the overall flow of your writing.
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Your essay has a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. This helps in maintaining coherence and cohesion throughout the piece.
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You made good use of relevant examples, particularly in the first body paragraph, to support your points.
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Your language is varied and sophisticated, which enhances the readability and overall quality of the essay.
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