students should spend timeworking before beginning their university studies. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

It is believed by some set of people that before commencing higher
educations
Fix the agreement mistake
education
show examples
, children should opt for paid
jobs
. I strongly agree with
this
statement, because choosing
timeworking
Correct your spelling
time working
will not only assist them in gaining
prectical
Correct your spelling
practical
knowledge and soft
skills
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
but
also
will contribute towards getting potential
jobs
after
univerisity
Correct your spelling
university
studies, I will converse the pros in my upcoming paragraphs with lucid examples. To start with, Paid
jobs
after school play
vital
Add an article
a vital
show examples
role in order to bring
hands on
Add a hyphen
hands-on
show examples
experinces
Correct your spelling
experience
experiences
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
any field related to their studies, Which
clear
Wrong verb form
clears
show examples
all the related fundamentals of
thier
Correct your spelling
their
future education
as well as
to amplify
Change the verb form
amplifies
show examples
thier
Correct your spelling
their
soft
skills
and presentations. Youngsters will feel more confident
while
studying the related topics which they have already covered
while
doing employment.
Therefore
, Tenure
precipates
Correct your spelling
precipitates
in brushing up the theoretical work .
Moreover
, When children come under live-on experiences, they are entitled to
intract
Correct your spelling
interact
with
thier
Correct your spelling
their
colleagues and seniors, they learn about their soft skill loopholes and it
benfits
Correct your spelling
benefits
to
Correct pronoun usage
them to
show examples
improve their presentation
skills
.
Apart from
this
, If schoolchildren gain
experinence
Correct your spelling
experience
, it is
boon
Correct article usage
a boon
show examples
for them to highlight their previous practical tasks in
resume
Correct pronoun usage
their resume
show examples
, which
further
encourage
Correct subject-verb agreement
encourages
show examples
them more in finding relevant
jobs
. Which ultimately generates future stars for the country. For
an
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
example,
Organization
Correct article usage
an Organization
show examples
, which is hiring
such
freshers, will have to spend less time
to train
Change the verb form
training
show examples
them as they already
hold
Verb problem
have
show examples
familiarity with concepts.
To conclude
, Working with office premises help
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
freshman to make them real stars, before they knock door
for
Change preposition
of
show examples
universities. They can become
foundation
Add an article
the foundation
show examples
of the future company by using their soft
skills
and earlier knowledge.
Submitted by rajvir on

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coherence cohesion
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coherence cohesion
Be cautious of wordiness and repetition in your essay. Aim for conciseness where possible, ensuring each sentence contributes new information or value to your argument. Using varied sentence structures will also enhance the readability of your essay.
task achievement
Your essay addresses the topic, but the ideas could be developed further to enhance task achievement. Providing more specific examples and clear explanations would strengthen your arguments significantly. Also, the conclusion could reinforce your viewpoint more decisively.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • practical experience
  • academic learning
  • theoretical concepts
  • soft skills
  • time management
  • financial burden
  • tuition fees
  • student loans
  • work experience
  • competitive job market
  • career goals
  • field of study
  • cultural exposure
  • global mindset
  • career progression
  • academic skills atrophy
  • period of adjustment
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