IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 2

The following is the diagram of the mobile phone recycling process. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparison where relevant.

#phone #process #information #features #comparison
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The given flow chart depicts the cradle-to-cradle procedure of recycling a handphone.
To begin
Linking Words
, the unwanted phone is collected from the consumers, which will be stored and forwarded to the machine dismantling and separation stages. During the dismantling process,
phone
Correct article usage
the phone
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 and battery will be handled separately,
following
Wrong verb form
followed
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 by
a
Remove the article
apply
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mechanical or magnetic separation. The end-products from the separation stage include metal parts and wiring boards,
plastics
Use synonyms
 and other
materials
Use synonyms
. Both metal parts
and
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
wiring boards, and
plastics
Use synonyms
 have to undergo
further
Linking Words
 processing until they become reusable
materials
Use synonyms
.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, the other
materials
Use synonyms
 obtained from the process can be
resale
Correct your spelling
resold
show examples
 directly. For metal parts and wiring boards, as metals are embedded into those components, the copper will be smelted. At the same time, the precious metals will be refined
to
Change preposition
into
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 useful resources. Meanwhile,
plastics
Use synonyms
 are going to be reprocessed to
lower grade
Add a hyphen
lower-grade
show examples
plastics
Use synonyms
 or incinerated to generate energy.
As a result
Linking Words
, the other
materials
Use synonyms
 segregated from the phones,
together with
Linking Words
 the reusable metals and
lower grade
Add a hyphen
lower-grade
show examples
plastics
Use synonyms
 will be resale to generate income.
Submitted by ardentpicks on

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coherence cohesion
Be sure to have a clear introduction and conclusion to structure your essay effectively.
coherence cohesion
Use a variety of linking words and phrases to ensure the logical flow of your essay.
coherence cohesion
Support your descriptions with specific details and examples where applicable.
task achievement
Fully address all parts of the task to ensure that your response is complete.
task achievement
Express your ideas clearly and ensure they are easily understood, avoiding ambiguity.
task achievement
Use data or specific examples from the diagram to support your points and enhance the response.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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