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Band 3

your landlord is asking to increase the rent. why you think rent shouldn't be increased. what will you do if it is increased.

#landlord #rent #shouldn
Dear Smith, I am writing
this
 letter to discuss
about
Remove the preposition
apply
show examples
proposed
Add an article
the proposed
a proposed
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 surge in house
rent
. I am sure you will consider my concerns in
this
 matter.
First,
as per my request
last
 year you have agreed to renovate the flat. The flat was painted again, and
lighting
Correct article usage
the lighting
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 was reinstalled.
it
Capitalize word
It
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 cost around 1500 pounds which you adjusted in monthly
rent
. I agreed to that arrangement.
Furthermore
, later in July
this
 year water supply was disrupted, and
new
Add an article
a new
show examples
 connection
is
Wrong verb form
was
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 installed. It cost around 500 pounds
this
 was
also
 adjusted in monthly
rent
. Right now, I am paying 167 pounds more in monthly
rent
. I think that
rent
 should not be increased
further
.
However
, if you still think that
rent
Correct article usage
the rent
show examples
need
Change the verb form
needs
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 to be increased
then
 I am sorry to say that I will not be able to pay the increased
rent
. I will move out of your property with
1 month
Add a hyphen
1-month
show examples
 notice.
As
Correct your spelling
A
show examples
further
 increase in
rent
 will be unaffordable for me to pay. I look forward to your quick response. Yours Sincerely, Tim May
Submitted by yash334 on

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coherence cohesion
For Coherence and Cohesion: Use a variety of cohesive devices and transition words to better connect your ideas. Structure your paragraphs clearly with a topic sentence followed by supporting sentences and a concluding sentence. Ensure smooth transitions between paragraphs to enhance the logical flow of your reasons and arguments.
task achievement
For Task Achievement: While the response generally addresses the task, further detail and development of the ideas are necessary. Aim to express your points more comprehensively and consider additional arguments as to why the rent should not be increased, rather than solely focusing on past events. Include potential solutions or compromises that could be proposed to the landlord.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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