is better for children if the whole family including aunts, uncles, and so on are involved in a child’s upbringing, rather than just their parents. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The
important
Replace the word
importance
show examples
of repairing
children
Use synonyms
which was always debatable has now become more controversial with many people
climing
Correct your spelling
claiming
climbing
that is
Linking Words
benefeicial
Correct your spelling
beneficial
while
Linking Words
other
Fix the agreement mistake
others
show examples
,s reject
this
Linking Words
nothion
Correct your spelling
notion
.The substantial
infulence
Correct your spelling
influence
of
this
Linking Words
trend has sparked
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
controversy over the potential impact in
resent
Correct your spelling
recent
show examples
years. In my opinion, the
above stated
Add a hyphen
above-stated
show examples
proposition is
undoubtedle unrational
Correct your spelling
undoubtedly irrational
.I strongly agree with that for many reasons. Analyzing the statement and explaining
further
Linking Words
,the first and foremost reason
behind
Change preposition
apply
show examples
parents should
up bringing
Correct your spelling
upbringing
show examples
their
children
Use synonyms
only is
maintain
Fix the infinitive
to maintain
show examples
family privacy.if family
members
Use synonyms
take
every
Replace the word
everyone
show examples
one
Use synonyms
to inter their
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
show examples
and
saing
Correct your spelling
teach
theit
Correct your spelling
them
rule
Fix the agreement mistake
rules
show examples
or
guding
Correct your spelling
guide
their kids,they will
be
Verb problem
have
show examples
no sense of belonging.
As well as
Linking Words
there is no best
diraction
Correct your spelling
direction
to lead
children
Use synonyms
to go in
right
Correct article usage
the right
show examples
ways
Fix the agreement mistake
way
show examples
.That means
children
Use synonyms
feel
lack
Correct article usage
a lack
show examples
of distraction.
For example
Linking Words
Den Queen
Use synonyms
one
Add a missing verb
is one
show examples
of the most outisim
person
Change to a plural noun
people
show examples
becouse
Correct your spelling
because
,he grew up with all
family
Correct article usage
the family
show examples
members
Use synonyms
. Probing a head,
one
Use synonyms
of the main
uderlaying
Correct your spelling
underlying
underlaying
reason
Fix the agreement mistake
reasons
show examples
stems from the fact
is
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
that
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
children
Use synonyms
learn bad
behavior
Change the spelling
behaviour
show examples
. The key factor is
laying
Correct your spelling
lying
show examples
.In
fact
Add a comma
fact,
show examples
kids who live in
crowded
Add an article
a crowded
show examples
home
Fix the agreement mistake
homes
show examples
with
diffrent
Correct your spelling
different
guid
Correct your spelling
guide
,They can do what they want and put
Linking Words
this
Correct determiner usage
these
show examples
habits
to
Change preposition
into
show examples
one
Use synonyms
of
thier
Correct your spelling
their
family
members
Use synonyms
. Moving
further
Linking Words
it is pertinent to mention that
reduce
Correct subject-verb agreement
reduces
show examples
academic achievement.All
cuuses
Correct your spelling
causes
of
Linking Words
this
Correct determiner usage
these
show examples
issues will
dissapear
Correct your spelling
disappear
if parents train to
up bringing
Correct your spelling
upbringing
show examples
without other family
members
Use synonyms
.Apart from the reasons mentioned above ,it can be clearly stated
that
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
why many are
agints
Correct your spelling
agents
against
of
this
Linking Words
trend. To
recapitulated
Change the form of the verb
recapitulate
show examples
,
according to
Linking Words
the arguments
aforemention
Correct your spelling
aforementioned
above ,
one
Use synonyms
can
reash
Correct your spelling
reach
to
aconculsion
Correct your spelling
conclusion
a conclusion
that the benefits of
up
Change preposition
apply
show examples
bringing of
thire
Correct your spelling
their
kids to
achive
Correct your spelling
achieve
their academic
achivement
Correct your spelling
achievement
and to feel
sense
Add an article
a sense
show examples
of belonging.
Submitted by zoozs606 on

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coherence cohesion
The essay lacks a clear logical structure, with ideas presented in a somewhat disorganized manner. To improve, make sure to have a clear introduction, body paragraphs with individual ideas, and a conclusion that summarizes your argument.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are not clearly defined, making it hard to understand the essay's argument. Ensure that your introduction presents the topic and your viewpoint clearly, and that your conclusion effectively summarizes the main points of the essay.
coherence cohesion
The main points of the essay are not supported with clear and relevant examples or explanations. To strengthen your essay, provide specific examples to support each point, and explain how they relate to your argument.
task achievement
The response does not address the prompt completely and lacks detail. For a higher score, ensure that your essay fully answers the question, providing a clear and comprehensive explanation of your views, and includes a detailed argument.
task achievement
Your ideas are somewhat unclear and not comprehensive. Strive to articulate your thoughts clearly and explain your reasoning in depth to allow the reader to follow your argument easily.
task achievement
The essay doesn't include relevant and specific examples to support the argument. To improve your score, use examples that are directly related to the topic to illustrate your points and help to reinforce your argument.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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