IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4.5

Large companies should pay CEOs and executives higher salaries than other workers. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#companies #ceos #executives #salaries #workers
In
this
 period of globalization and inclined
sucess
Correct your spelling
success
 of multinational companies. There is a big role of top
authorities
 like
cheif
Correct your spelling
chief
execative
Correct your spelling
executive
 officers and other executives towards
growth
. In my opinion, I strongly agree with
this
 notion and my opinion will be discussed in
further
 paragraphs with a suitable conclusion. Supporting my agreement
to
Change preposition
with
show examples
 the given statement, I firmly believe that Managing all
workers
 and
make
Wrong verb form
making
show examples
 a tough decision in
worst
Correct article usage
the worst
show examples
 time is not
everyones
Change to a genitive case
everyone's
show examples
 cup of tea. To cite an example, A
sigle
Correct your spelling
single
 person who
manage
Correct subject-verb agreement
manages
show examples
 and
give
Correct subject-verb agreement
gives
show examples
 guidance to thousands of
wokers
Correct your spelling
workers
 in the
company
,
single handedly
Add a hyphen
single-handedly
show examples
 is not
a
Correct your spelling
as
show examples
 easy as it
is
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
looks.
Moreover
, The chairperson always
expect
Change the verb form
expects
show examples
 from top positions
authorities
 for
company's
Correct article usage
the company's
show examples
growth
, but, not the
company
workers
.so, the top
authorities
 needed to
fulfill
Change the spelling
fulfil
show examples
 the demands of
owner
Add an article
the owner
show examples
as well as
 manage the whole
company
.
For instance
,
the
Correct word choice
if the
show examples
company
 is suffering from
a huge losses
Correct the article-noun agreement
huge losses
a huge loss
show examples
then
chairperson
Correct article usage
the chairperson
show examples
 never
ask
Change the verb form
asks
show examples
the
Change the word
their
show examples
resons
Correct your spelling
employees
and
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
questions about
growth
statmentes
Correct your spelling
statements
 and fluctuations to their employees. Explaining some of the
another supporting points
Replace the adjective
another supporting point
other supporting points
show examples
 in favour
this
Change preposition
of this
show examples
 statement, it is true that
workers
are
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
also
take
Correct your spelling
make
show examples
 a lot of
efforts
Fix the agreement mistake
effort
show examples
 and
hardwork
Correct your spelling
hard work
 to
leads
Wrong verb form
lead
show examples
growth
Correct article usage
the growth
show examples
 of
industry
Add an article
the industry
show examples
.
As a result
, the companies are improving with
thier
Correct your spelling
their
 net worth with good feedback from clients.but, there is a
involments
Correct your spelling
involvements
involvement
 of
authorities
 whose guidance and
trainings
Fix the agreement mistake
training
show examples
which
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
helps
Correct subject-verb agreement
help
show examples
 the worker the
workers
 to achieve
tremendious
Correct your spelling
tremendous
 good output. Conclusion In conclusion, top companies should pay higher salaries to the top
authorities
 than other
employeers
Correct your spelling
employers
employees
. I believe that
aforementioned
Correct article usage
the aforementioned
show examples
 points are strongly supporting my
view point
Correct your spelling
viewpoint
show examples
.
Submitted by krishna.zatale777 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion
The essay lacks a clear and logical structure, which makes it difficult for the reader to follow the argument. Consider using clear paragraphs with topic sentences at the beginning to guide the reader.
coherence cohesion
The introduction is present but does not adequately paraphrase the task and lacks a clear thesis statement. The conclusion is also present but it is weak and does not effectively summarize the main points of the essay. It's important to reinforce your position in both the introduction and the conclusion to make a stronger impact.
coherence cohesion
Main points are identified but not well developed. The use of specific examples would strengthen the argument and illustrate the points more effectively. Aim to support each main point with clear examples that relate directly to the topic.
task achievement
The response, while complete, only partially addresses the task. It does demonstrate an opinion but the explanation is limited and at times difficult to understand. Ensure to fully address the question asked, providing clear ideas and arguments.
task achievement
The ideas presented are somewhat clear but the essay does not always flow comprehensively. It's important to develop ideas more fully and express them in a way that is easy to understand. Use simpler sentence structures if necessary to avoid confusion.
task achievement
Relevant examples are lacking and would help to make the essay more convincing. Including data, anecdotes, or case studies related to CEO compensation can enhance the effectiveness of your argument.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: