Rewrite- 4,6/12 Nowadays, not enough students choose science subjects in university in many countries. What are the reasons for this problem? What are the effects on society?
These days,
the
science-related majors are not as popular as in the past. In my opinion, it is because there are more subjects and options in the college for students to chooseCorrect article usage
apply
,
Change preposition
from, hence
hence
, the number of students who apply the science majors is lower. I think Linking Words
this
might have several impacts on our society in the Linking Words
future
.
Use synonyms
Firstly
, it could reduce the competition Linking Words
of
the job market. In the past, most Change preposition
in
people
selected science-related Use synonyms
lesson
as their major, Fix the agreement mistake
lessons
as a result
, numerous Linking Words
of
graduates will Change preposition
apply
competitive
apply for the same occupations. Change the adjective
competitively
However
, nowadays, Linking Words
people
sign up for various kinds of subjects, which means their Use synonyms
future
Use synonyms
career
will be totally different. So, Fix the agreement mistake
careers
in
the company would have enough or extra positions for most Change preposition
apply
people
.
Use synonyms
Secondly
, it could Linking Words
also
impact the development of the society. In the past, Linking Words
people
focused on science and physics because they Use synonyms
provide
usWrong verb form
provided
a
better quality of substantial Add the preposition
with a
lives
, Fix the agreement mistake
life
for example
, Linking Words
the
vehicles help Correct article usage
apply
people
to deliver Use synonyms
cargos
efficiently and travel around the world. Recently, the educational institution has more subjects and Fix the agreement mistake
cargo
future
choices which are not science-related, Use synonyms
for instance
, arts, hospitality and tourism. Linking Words
Therefore
, Linking Words
people
put more attention on these industries which were not vitally developed before and it Use synonyms
Correct subject-verb agreement
pushes
push
the nations to develop in a different way.
In conclusion, the diversified options in Correct subject-verb agreement
pushes
university
could influence the Fix the agreement mistake
universities
future
, Use synonyms
such
as reducing the competition Linking Words
of
the job market and even Change preposition
in
impact
national industries and development.Wrong verb form
impacting
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coherence cohesion
Ensure you have a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. The introduction should clearly outline your argument, the body should support this with well-structured paragraphs, and the conclusion should summarize your main points without introducing new information.
coherence cohesion
Make sure each paragraph has a clear central idea, uses cohesive devices appropriately, and logically progresses from one idea to the next. This creates a thread throughout your essay that the reader can easily follow.
task achievement
Fully address all parts of the task, ensuring you provide clear and comprehensive responses to the questions. Offer reasons for the issue discussed, followed by specific examples or evidence, and then explain the potential effects on society to ensure the response is complete.
task achievement
Focus on the clarity of your ideas, ensuring your essay topic and argument are easy for the reader to understand. Avoid overly complex sentences and ensure that each paragraph's main idea is clear and expanded upon with relevant details.
task achievement
Provide real-world examples to support your points. Abstract arguments must be strengthened with concrete examples to illustrate how the problems and effects manifest in society.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.
Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.
When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.
Linking words for giving examples:
- for example
- for instance
- to illustrate this
- to give a clear example
- such as
- namely
- to illustrate
- take, for example