In some cultures, children are often told that they can achive anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

Giving
children
motivational messages is important. People often advise their
children
if they give their efforts to their aim hard enough they can achieve anything.
While
this
situation has some benefits, there are
also
some drawbacks.
This
essay will discuss both sides. On
positive
Add an article
the positive
show examples
side,
this
message can instil a sense of self-confidence and motivation in
children
. When they
encouraged
Add a missing verb
are encouraged
show examples
to believe that they can achieve anything with enough determination and effort, they are more likely to cope with difficult tasks and setbacks.
This
can help them to
develep
Correct your spelling
develop
resilience and
growth
Correct article usage
a growth
show examples
mindset.
For instance
, if a child wants to learn a new skill or participate in an activity that they are not yet proficient in, they may be more likely to try if they have the belief that they can eventually succeed with hard
work
.
However
, there are some potential drawbacks to
this
message. One
between
Change preposition
of
show examples
them is,
it
Correct word choice
that it
show examples
may set unrealistic expectations, even if they are not given
necessary
Correct article usage
the necessary
show examples
resources or
oppurtunities
Correct your spelling
opportunities
.
Additionally
,if
children
are
constatly
Correct your spelling
constantly
told they can achieve anything through hard
work
,
thay
Correct your spelling
they
may overlook the factors
such
as education, luck, privilege and social
structures
Change noun form
structures'
structure's
show examples
role in success.
This
could result in feelings of frustration, self-blame, and demotivation if they
not
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do not
did not
show examples
achieve the outcomes they desire. In conclusion,
while
the message that
children
can achieve anything through hard
work
has its advantages
such
as building confidence and motivation, it is
also
important to consider the potential drawbacks
such
as self-blame and demotivation. It is hoped that parents and teachers would motivate young
children
to
work
hard but
also
take into consideration other factors that are important for success.
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coherence cohesion
It is important to ensure that all your paragraphs logically follow each other and that the ideas within them are fully expanded upon. Aim for a more clear and pronounced logical sequence of ideas.
coherence cohesion
The essaystructure is satisfactory with a clear introduction and conclusion. However, the introduction could be expanded upon to better set the stage for the argument. The conclusion does satisfactorily summarize the key points, but it could provide a stronger final thought on the matter.
task achievement
The essay addresses the task and offers a complete response to the question. Nevertheless, the development of main ideas could be more elaborated by providing a wider range of supporting details.
task achievement
While the ideas presented are mostly clear and relevant, they need to be communicated with greater clarity and depth. Additional examples or evidence could be included to make the argument more compelling and comprehensive.
task achievement
Providing specific examples would significantly enhance your essay. Examples help illustrate your points and make your argument more concrete. Ensure that the examples provided are fully relevant and effectively back up your main points.

Answer the 'Advantages and Disadvantages' topic

IELTS advantages and disadvantages questions normally give you a statement and ask you to comment on the advantages and disadvantages of that statement.

Answer structure for the type of essay

  • Introduction
  • Body paragraph 1 – advantages
  • Body paragraph 2 – disadvantages
  • Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

  • The main advantage is...
  • The disadvantage of this...
  • The main benefit...
  • Despite these advantages...
  • One possible drawback...

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Perseverance
  • Resilience
  • Self-Esteem
  • Aspirations
  • Growth Mindset
  • Innate Ability
  • Unrealistic Expectations
  • Frustration
  • Disappointment
  • Pressure
  • Stress
  • Overwhelmed
  • Anxious
  • External Factors
  • Inherent Talents
  • Lofty Goals
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