In some cultures, children are often told that they can achive anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?
Giving
children
motivational messages is important. People often advise their children
if they give their efforts to their aim hard enough they can achieve anything. While
this
situation has some benefits, there are also
some drawbacks. This
essay will discuss both sides.
On positive
side, Add an article
the positive
this
message can instil a sense of self-confidence and motivation in children
. When they encouraged
to believe that they can achieve anything with enough determination and effort, they are more likely to cope with difficult tasks and setbacks. Add a missing verb
are encouraged
This
can help them to develep
resilience and Correct your spelling
develop
growth
mindset. Correct article usage
a growth
For instance
, if a child wants to learn a new skill or participate in an activity that they are not yet proficient in, they may be more likely to try if they have the belief that they can eventually succeed with hard work
.
However
, there are some potential drawbacks to this
message. One between
them is, Change preposition
of
it
may set unrealistic expectations, even if they are not given Correct word choice
that it
necessary
resources or Correct article usage
the necessary
oppurtunities
. Correct your spelling
opportunities
Additionally
,if children
are constatly
told they can achieve anything through hard Correct your spelling
constantly
work
, thay
may overlook the factors Correct your spelling
they
such
as education, luck, privilege and social structures
role in success. Change noun form
structures'
structure's
This
could result in feelings of frustration, self-blame, and demotivation if they not
achieve the outcomes they desire.
In conclusion, Change the verb form
do not
did not
while
the message that children
can achieve anything through hard work
has its advantages such
as building confidence and motivation, it is also
important to consider the potential drawbacks such
as self-blame and demotivation. It is hoped that parents and teachers would motivate young children
to work
hard but also
take into consideration other factors that are important for success.Submitted by asik.melliss on
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coherence cohesion
It is important to ensure that all your paragraphs logically follow each other and that the ideas within them are fully expanded upon. Aim for a more clear and pronounced logical sequence of ideas.
coherence cohesion
The essaystructure is satisfactory with a clear introduction and conclusion. However, the introduction could be expanded upon to better set the stage for the argument. The conclusion does satisfactorily summarize the key points, but it could provide a stronger final thought on the matter.
task achievement
The essay addresses the task and offers a complete response to the question. Nevertheless, the development of main ideas could be more elaborated by providing a wider range of supporting details.
task achievement
While the ideas presented are mostly clear and relevant, they need to be communicated with greater clarity and depth. Additional examples or evidence could be included to make the argument more compelling and comprehensive.
task achievement
Providing specific examples would significantly enhance your essay. Examples help illustrate your points and make your argument more concrete. Ensure that the examples provided are fully relevant and effectively back up your main points.
Answer the 'Advantages and Disadvantages' topic
IELTS advantages and disadvantages questions normally give you a statement and ask you to comment on the advantages and disadvantages of that statement.
Answer structure for the type of essay
- Introduction
- Body paragraph 1 – advantages
- Body paragraph 2 – disadvantages
- Conclusion
Examples to start your body paragraph:
- The main advantage is...
- The disadvantage of this...
- The main benefit...
- Despite these advantages...
- One possible drawback...