IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Some people think that reading stories in books is better than watching TV or playing games for children. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #stories #books #tv #games #children
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Many of them think that reading stories in
books
 is better than modified education. Nowadays, many people load different programs onto private phones. Some people can read any time essential part. Modern schools and universities use online
lessons
. The students or pupils watching TV
lessons
. I think so a good idea to study and people prefer traditional
lessons
.
On the other hand
 online
lessons
 are less effective for studying. But the benefit of watching TV is that learn a foreign language or cookery. Right now, the network has online courses who want to do a degree. I think parents should limit playing time. Traditional
lessons
 in education are useful for children. Which primary schools or tutorials?
On the other hand
, a number of humans would rather read
books
 than watch TV or play a variety of games. Of course, the benefit of reading stories is that you can get a lot of interesting information when you read interesting
books
. What's more, you might change your opinion of the world.
For instance
, I know that one of my friends is always keen on reading
books
, and he is a stranger rather than us. As he has got enough experience and I admire him. In conclusion, the benefits of reading are your developing memories and communication. You became knowledgeable.
Submitted by saydusmonovasomiddin94 on

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coherence cohesion
To improve coherence and cohesion, ensure that your essay follows a clear and logical structure, with identifiable introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. Each paragraph should have a main idea, supported by explanations or examples. Transition words and phrases are crucial to guide the reader through your argument smoothly.
task achievement
For task response, your essay should directly answer the given question with a clear opinion. Develop this opinion throughout the essay with specific examples and well-explained ideas that relate to the prompt. You need to cover all parts of the task in a balanced manner, providing insights and analyses where appropriate.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • cognitive development
  • imagination stimulation
  • linguistic skills
  • audiovisual stimuli
  • interactive learning
  • digital literacy
  • solitary engagement
  • narrative comprehension
  • educational content
  • screen time
  • attention span
  • multimedia experiences
  • well-rounded development
  • motor skills
  • traditional versus modern
  • balanced approach
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