IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4

You recently went to a concert and thought one of the singers was very good You want to tell him how you feel. Write a letter to the singer. In your letter say how you feel about his petformance give details of your musical activities explain how you would like him to help you with your musical activities

#concert #singers #singer #petformance #activities
Dear sir, My name is Enas, I am one of
the
Change the word
your
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 top
fan
Change to a plural noun
fans
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on
Change preposition
apply
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you
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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and
I
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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I am writing to you to express how I
astonished s
Verb problem
was
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 by your performance
on
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at
show examples
Correct pronoun usage
your
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last
 concert. I
had
Unnecessary verb
apply
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attended the
last
 concert
whrer
Correct your spelling
where
hold
Wrong verb form
held
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 in the
the
Remove the redundancy
apply
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national park and your voice was pretty well. All your songs’s lyrics have the deepest meaning which
told
Wrong verb form
tells
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 the audience about the struggle that faces the
youngster
Fix the agreement mistake
youngsters
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 today . I
remmerberd
Correct your spelling
remember
remembered
on
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in
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 my
childhoold
Correct your spelling
childhood
my father
has taken
Wrong verb form
took
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 me
several
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to several
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concert
Change to a plural noun
concerts
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,as that time I tried to write
my
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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songs Which talked about my temper.
Additionally
 ,I have participated
on
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in
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multiplue
Correct your spelling
multiple
musical activities
On
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In
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 my home town
as well
as
Correct word choice
and
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I’m
Correct your spelling
I am
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member
Add an article
a member
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 of
national
Correct article usage
the national
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coral
Capitalize word
Coral
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. I faced difficulties
on
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with
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 Different
tone
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tones
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,therefor
i
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I
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 would
ilke
Correct your spelling
like
to
Correct pronoun usage
you to
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 help me on
this
 issue and add comments
on
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to
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 my writing.
Furthermore
,have
pleasure
Add an article
the pleasure
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 to
particibate
Correct your spelling
participate
on
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in
show examples
Correct article usage
a vestifal
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vestifal
Correct your spelling
festival
on
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in
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 my village where all the
society
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society's
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 top fans on you. I
hoop
Verb problem
hope
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 to look forward
on
Change preposition
to
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 my
sincerly
Correct your spelling
sincerely
sincere
 request and I attached all my writing with the letter. Faithfully yours Enas
Submitted by enasawad68 on

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coherence cohesion
Ensure your letter has a clear introduction, details in the body, and a suitable conclusion. Include clear paragraphing and avoid mixing ideas within paragraphs.
task achievement
Address all three bullet points in the task evenly, fully expand on them and offer specific details about how the recipient's help could be beneficial to your musical activities.
task achievement
Use an appropriate tone for semi-formal or formal letters and maintain it throughout the response.
coherence cohesion
The greeting and sign-off of the letter should be consistent with the level of formality expected in letter writing.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • captivating
  • stellar performance
  • entranced
  • musical prowess
  • virtuoso
  • encore
  • melodic
  • harmony
  • instrumental skills
  • musical journey
  • mentorship
  • aspiring
  • collaboration
  • feedback
  • inspired
  • invaluable guidance
  • musical aspirations
  • appreciation
  • influenced
  • répertoire
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