The disgram below shows what happens to pollutants from farming and industry once in a river system. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

#disgram #pollutants #industry #river #system #information #features #comparisons

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The provided diagram depicts the fates of agricultural and industrial pollutants after entering the

river

system. There are mainly two types of pollutants discharged from

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

human activities, namely

nitrogen

and heavy metals. The former

one

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

is commonly discovered in farming practises,

in particular

when fertilizers are in use.

Meanwhile

Add a comma

Meanwhile,

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the later ones are generated through manufacturing processes. The two detrimental by-products share distinct

journey

Fix the agreement mistake

journeys

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after moving into the

river

courses. Plants in the

river

bed serve as an important medium to absorb

nitrogen

via the

nitrogen

fixation process. By that, all of the

nitrogen

wastes are removed from the water bodies within the

river

courses, without any escape to the ocean.

Nonetheless

, the remaining heavy metals are unfortunately transported by the

fast flowing

Add a hyphen

fast-flowing

show examples

rivers to the sea.

Overall

, heavy metals leaked from the factories stay more

permenently

Correct your spelling

permanently

than the

nitrogen

pollutants in the water bodies. Their impacts

Change preposition

show examples

the water are comparably larger.

Submitted by ardentpicks on Wed Dec 06 2023

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coherence cohesion

Your essay lacks a clear overall structure. Consider organizing the information in a way that clearly introduces the subject, proceeds through a logical explanation of the key features, and ends with a concise summary or conclusion.

coherence cohesion

You have not sufficiently provided a variety of cohesive devices or transitions to guide the reader through your description of the diagram. Use a wider range of linking words and phrases to improve the flow of your essay.

task achievement

To fully achieve the task, ensure that all main features of the diagram are covered. There is some missing information, like specific impacts of these pollutants on the river system, and the distinction between their fates is not fully explained or compared.

task achievement

Your ideas are clear but need to be more comprehensive. Expand on the points you make by providing more detailed descriptions and make comparisons where relevant.

task achievement

It's important to include relevant, specific examples or data from the diagram to support the points you make in your essay. While some examples are provided, adding more detail would strengthen your response.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

3
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

154 words

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The disgram below shows what happens to pollutants from farming and industry once in a river system. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Fully explain your ideas

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