Some people believe that reading stories from a book is better than watching TV or playing computer games. Do you agree or disagree?

Many of them think that reading stories in
books
is better than modified education. Nowadays, many people load different
programmes
Replace the word
programs
show examples
onto private phones. Some people can read any time essential part. Modern schools
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
and universities use online
lessons
. The students or pupils watching TV
lessons
. I think so a good idea to study and people prefer traditional
lessons
.
On the other hand
, online
lessons
are less effective for studying. But the benefit of watching TV is that learn a foreign language or cookery. Right now, the network
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
online courses who want to do a degree. I think parents should limit playing time. Traditional
lessons
education
Change preposition
in education
show examples
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
useful for children. Which primary schools or tutorials?
On the other hand
, a number of humans would rather read
books
than watch TV or
playing
Wrong verb form
play
show examples
a variety of games. Of course, the benefit of reading stories is that you can get a lot of interesting information when you read interesting
books
. What's more, you might change your opinion of the world.
For instance
, I know that one of my friends is always keen on reading
books
, and he is a stranger rather than us. As he has got enough experience and I admire him. In conclusion, the benefits of reading are your developing memories and communication. You became knowledgeable.
Submitted by saydusmonovasomiddin94 on

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Coherence & Cohesion
The essay lacks a clear introduction, body, and conclusion structure, which is necessary for good coherence and cohesion. An introduction should present the topic and your thesis statement. Each paragraph in the body should contain one main idea with supporting details. The conclusion should summarize the main points and restate your position.
Task Achievement
The main points you've presented are not well supported by specific examples or explanations. Future essays should include clear examples and reasons to better support your arguments.
Task Achievement
Your essay tends to go off-topic and lacks a clear focus on the question prompt. Make sure to address the question directly and remain focused on the subject throughout your essay.
Coherence & Cohesion
Use transition words and phrases to improve the flow of your writing. This helps guide the reader through your essay and connect your ideas more effectively.
Coherence & Cohesion
Remember to always proofread your essay for grammatical errors and ensure that it is written in clear, comprehensible English.
Task Achievement
Try to expand and develop your ideas in a structured manner, ensuring each paragraph contributes to your overall position on the topic.
Coherence & Cohesion
For a better score, ensure that your essay is well-organized, with a clear stance that is maintained throughout the writing. Each paragraph should revolve around a single main idea, and the conclusion should clearly address the prompt while summarizing the main points made.
Coherence & Cohesion
Use a mix of complex and simple sentences to demonstrate linguistic range and improve the quality of your writing.
Task Achievement
During preparation, practice developing ideas around IELTS essay topics and use real-life examples to make your arguments more persuasive.

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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