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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Some people think that robots are important for human’s future development. Others think that robots have negative effects on society. Discuss both views and give your opinion

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While
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 some individuals think that
robots
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 are paramount for human future development, others
people
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 think that
robots
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 have a negative impact on society. In my opinion, I believe that
this
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 type of technological progress can
lead
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apply
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help countries and society in many ways. On the one hand,
according to
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 some,
robots
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 are necessary for human’s future, and I agree.
Firstly
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, they are able to perform
tasks
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 that would be dangerous or difficult for a person.
In other words
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, automated machines are made from strong materials to do impossible
tasks
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 in hot or cold
situatios
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situations
situation
.
For example
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,
robots
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 are already used for bomb disposal, which
as a result
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 keeps
people
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 out of danger.
Secondly
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,
robots
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 are capable of performing delicate and precise
tasks
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 in manufacturing and medical
tasks
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 settings with a high degree of accuracy. If we allow
people
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 to continue to do these
jobs
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, it will lead to lives being lost and inferior products being made.
On the other hand
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, some
people
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 claim that AI has negative outcomes on society. One reason is that
robots
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 take over other
jobs
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 that are currently done by humans.
This
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 is because
robots
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 work with high accuracy and without mistakes.
For instance
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, in the past, we have seen auto manufacturing turn from a source of
jobs
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 to something
that is
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 mostly automated. If we see
this
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 happen in other industries.
As a result
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, it could lead to widespread unemployment and economic insecurity. Another reason why
people
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 have
such
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 a view is that AI is expensive in the market.
Therefore
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, it is a smart machine
wants
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that wants
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 to be fixed or examined and the materials so expensive.
To sum up
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,
while
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people
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 may vary in their opinion, I think that
this
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 type of technological progress can lead to the creation of new
jobs
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.if
robots
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 have the potential to greatly improve our lives by performing risky and difficult
tasks
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, they
also
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 have the potential to take
people
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’s
jobs
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Coherence & Cohesion
Ensure that the essay has a clear and logical structure by using cohesive devices effectively and arranging ideas in a coherent order that is easy to follow.
Coherence & Cohesion
Introduction and conclusion are generally well formed, but strive for a more impactful thesis statement and concluding sentence, in line with the main points discussed.
Coherence & Cohesion
Support each main point with more detailed and specific examples or evidence and avoid repeating arguments. Make sure that the link between the main idea and supporting details is clear.
Task Achievement
Address the task fully by exploring both views presented in the essay prompt and providing a more reasoned personal opinion. Expand on the reasons and the implications of the points made.
Task Achievement
Work on developing clear and comprehensive ideas with a consistent focus throughout the essay. Make sure each paragraph has one main idea that is explored in-depth.
Task Achievement
Include more relevant and specific examples to demonstrate an understanding of the topic and to bolster the arguments. These examples should be directly related to the points being made and clearly explained.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Artificial intelligence
  • Automation
  • Technological advancements
  • Workforce displacement
  • Ethical considerations
  • Innovation
  • Labor market
  • Safety protocols
  • Machine learning
  • Human-robot interaction
  • Economic impact
  • Job creation
  • Cybersecurity
  • Autonomous
  • Precision
  • Dependency
  • Regulation
  • Risk assessment
  • Adaptation
  • Unemployment
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