Today, family members eat fewer meals together. What's your opinion

#members #meals

Currently,households do not spend a great deal of

time

during eating

time

.There has been much discussion revolving around the given topic.My opinion will be elaborated on on

this

subject

in addition

to some corroborations in order to justify my point of view.

To begin

with,by dint of technological advancement a lot of family

members

are committed to their mobile screens, and

as a result

,they do not enjoy eating together.To illustrate

this

, take my country as a clear example, only the husbands prefer to do

this

On the other hand

, youngsters embrace their cell phones

instead

of eating with their families. Some consider

this

as a negative impact of social media.

However

,despite

this

, the other pattern can be seen in spouses.On account of the burning cost of living,not only fathers but

also

mothers spend a great deal of hours with their tedious work in order to meet their family needs

in addition

to fulfilling their potential .

Hence

,they spend fewer hours together.

Moreover

,some of the family

members

are either studying or working abroad.

Therefore

, they do not spend many hours together,because of the given reason. It is

also

interesting to note that

according to

surveys done by experts, they displayed that a large number of families did not enjoy eating together.So, doubtlessly,in the near future, the

members

of the families will enjoy alone with their meals alone.

Finally

according to

the aforementioned clarification,I am fairly certain that households do not have

time

in order to enjoy their favourite diets together. In a nutshell,after a thorough analysis of the given topic,it is justified that the family

members

do not meet each other during dining

time

owing to the reasons that show up;

consequently

,I am in agreement with

this

notion.

Submitted by nadeenelkenawy4425 on Wed Dec 06 2023

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coherence cohesion

Your essay shows some level of organization, but the logical progression of ideas is not always evident. Consider paragraphing more effectively and using clearer linking words to improve coherence.

coherence cohesion

Ensure that both the introduction and conclusion are fully developed, each serving its purpose—introducing the topic and summarizing your stance and reasons, respectively.

coherence cohesion

Support your main points more extensively with relevant explanations or examples. The points made require further elaboration for better clarity and impact.

task achievement

The response addresses the task, but ideas need to be expressed more clearly and comprehensively. Work on expanding your ideas and presenting them in a more detailed manner.

task achievement

Include more specific examples to illustrate your points. The examples provided are too general and do not substantially support your arguments. Try to reference studies or tangible scenarios that directly relate to the topic.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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14Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Grammar mistakes
 

5 paragraphs

284 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

societal changes
modern work schedules
individualism
technology's influence
foster
communication
fast-paced lifestyle
adverse effects
dietary health
social development
restoring
isolating effects
digital media
face-to-face interaction
strengthening family bonds
family cohesion
crucial element
societal health
policies
initiatives
traditional values

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Today, family members eat fewer meals together. What's your opinion

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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