IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people believe that universities should only offer places to students with high marks, while others believe that people of all ages should be allowed even if they do not well in school. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

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Certain people argue that universities should allow only
to
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apply
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students
Use synonyms
 with good grades,
however
Linking Words
, their opponents disagree with that standpoint, and they believe that
academic
Correct article usage
the academic
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 world should create an opportunity for everyone, regardless of how old they are and how successful they were at
school
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.
While
Linking Words
 it is true that
students
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 with strong
marks
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 commonly do well in university, in my opinion, every person should be allowed to higher education, independent of his
school
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 rates and age. A commonly held belief is that
students
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 are doing well at
school
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 and are frequently successful in college as well. Obviously, that
high rank
Add a hyphen
high-rank
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students
Use synonyms
 used to learn hard at
school
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,
moreover
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
 habit helps them to study well in university.
For example
Linking Words
, Kazakhstan`s university`s drop-out rate is much higher among the
students
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 that were not doing well at secondary
school
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 than learners with higher grades, which is because
high level
Add a hyphen
high-level
show examples
 graduates used to push themselves to get
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
higher
marks
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 when they studied at
school
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.
However
Linking Words
, even if there are obvious reasons that
high rank
Add a hyphen
high-rank
show examples
 learners commonly have more ability to
successful
Change the word
successfully
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 studying, universities should create
an
Correct article usage
apply
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equal opportunity for all
type
Fix the agreement mistake
types
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 of pupils, regardless of their academic performance at secondary
school
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.
In addition
Linking Words
, low
marks
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 do not mean that student has an inability to learn. Well known that lots of
celebrities
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celebrity
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among
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apply
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the
Correct article usage
apply
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scientists did not
well
Add a missing verb
do well
show examples
 at
school
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,
for instance
Linking Words
, Albert Einstein, who made a huge contribution to physics, but his
marks
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 at
school
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 were
a
Change the article
apply
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pretty ordinary. In conclusion, I certainly support that university authorities should make
an attractive and equal conditions
Correct the article-noun agreement
attractive and equal conditions
an attractive and equal condition
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 for everyone who
want
Correct subject-verb agreement
wants
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 to get higher education. Who knows
may
Verb problem
apply
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be
new
Correct article usage
a new
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 'Einstein' will be discovered among
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
ordinary
students
Use synonyms
.

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coherence cohesion
Ensure that each main point in your essay is clearly stated and explained. The ideas presented can benefit from clearer focus and elaboration to improve coherence and cohesion. Connecting words and phrases should be used consistently to guide the reader through the argument.
task achievement
Strive to fully address all parts of the task. While the essay discusses both views and provides an opinion, further development and support through specific examples or evidence in each paragraph would strengthen the accomplishment of the task.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • merit-based
  • competitive environment
  • academic standards
  • innovation
  • diversity
  • mature students
  • equitable
  • inclusive admission policies
  • educational disadvantages
  • holistic admission process
  • extracurricular achievements
  • non-traditional students
  • equal opportunities
  • societal progress
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