Some people believe that universities should only offer places to students with high marks, while others believe that people of all ages should be allowed even if they do not well in school. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

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Certain people argue that universities should allow only
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
students
with good grades,
however
, their opponents disagree with that standpoint, and they believe that
academic
Correct article usage
the academic
show examples
world should create an opportunity for everyone, regardless of how old they are and how successful they were at
school
.
While
it is true that
students
with strong
marks
commonly do well in university, in my opinion, every person should be allowed to higher education, independent of his
school
rates and age. A commonly held belief is that
students
are doing well at
school
and are frequently successful in college as well. Obviously, that
high rank
Add a hyphen
high-rank
show examples
students
used to learn hard at
school
,
moreover
,
this
habit helps them to study well in university.
For example
, Kazakhstan`s university`s drop-out rate is much higher among the
students
that were not doing well at secondary
school
than learners with higher grades, which is because
high level
Add a hyphen
high-level
show examples
graduates used to push themselves to get
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
higher
marks
when they studied at
school
.
However
, even if there are obvious reasons that
high rank
Add a hyphen
high-rank
show examples
learners commonly have more ability to
successful
Change the word
successfully
show examples
studying, universities should create
an
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
equal opportunity for all
type
Fix the agreement mistake
types
show examples
of pupils, regardless of their academic performance at secondary
school
.
In addition
, low
marks
do not mean that student has an inability to learn. Well known that lots of
celebrities
Fix the agreement mistake
celebrity
show examples
among
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
scientists did not
well
Add a missing verb
do well
show examples
at
school
,
for instance
, Albert Einstein, who made a huge contribution to physics, but his
marks
at
school
were
a
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apply
show examples
pretty ordinary. In conclusion, I certainly support that university authorities should make
an attractive and equal conditions
Correct the article-noun agreement
attractive and equal conditions
an attractive and equal condition
show examples
for everyone who
want
Correct subject-verb agreement
wants
show examples
to get higher education. Who knows
may
Verb problem
apply
show examples
be
new
Correct article usage
a new
show examples
'Einstein' will be discovered among
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
ordinary
students
.
Submitted by dnm.best on

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coherence cohesion
Ensure that each main point in your essay is clearly stated and explained. The ideas presented can benefit from clearer focus and elaboration to improve coherence and cohesion. Connecting words and phrases should be used consistently to guide the reader through the argument.
task achievement
Strive to fully address all parts of the task. While the essay discusses both views and provides an opinion, further development and support through specific examples or evidence in each paragraph would strengthen the accomplishment of the task.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • merit-based
  • competitive environment
  • academic standards
  • innovation
  • diversity
  • mature students
  • equitable
  • inclusive admission policies
  • educational disadvantages
  • holistic admission process
  • extracurricular achievements
  • non-traditional students
  • equal opportunities
  • societal progress
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