Some people feel that it is necessary to test new medicines on animals, while other people feel that this is not fair on animals and not necessary. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

There is an ongoing debate regarding drugs being tested on
animals
for medical experiments.
While
some people argue that it is beneficial because of
biological
Correct article usage
the biological
show examples
similarity between humans and
animals
, others claim that
such
testings
Replace the word
tests
show examples
are against ethical values. I believe that
such
methods are needed to identify the potential symptoms and prevent the
dreadly
Correct your spelling
deadly
dreaded
dread
diseases.
This
essay will discuss both views and my opinion in detail with relevant examples. On the one hand, it has been proven to be significant because many scientists have found medicines for critical diseases by testing on different species.
That is
to say that some
animals
,
for example
, mice
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
susceptible to similar health issues as humans
such
as cancer, heart disease, and blood sugar.
Therefore
, trailing new drugs on mice helps researchers
to
Verb problem
apply
show examples
learn about the exact symptoms and the effectiveness of
such
medicine in curing the disease.
Moreover
, alternative methods are not considered promising because of the inability to replicate biological relationships with those artificial procedures.
For instance
, the treatment for diabetes was discovered by the experimentation of chemical compositions on mice which
lead
Wrong verb form
led
show examples
to the discovery of insulin.
On the other hand
, many people argue that
such
research should involve alternative procedures.
In other words
, those folks argue that we do not have
Correct article usage
the rights
show examples
rights
Fix the agreement mistake
right
show examples
to kill or cause suffering to those species because it is illegal and unethical.
However
, there is no other method proven to be successful or considered effective than animal
testings
Fix the agreement mistake
testing
show examples
.
Furthermore
, they believe that
such
lives should
also
be respected same as the livelihood of people.
For example
, in India,
Correct article usage
the blue
show examples
blue cross
Correct your spelling
Blue Cross
show examples
commitee
Correct your spelling
committee
appealed to the government against the medical department to restrain from suffering
animals
but the case was declined and stated that it was performed to improve the
longitivity
Correct your spelling
longevity
of human life. In conclusion,
although
there are opinions against animal
testings
Fix the agreement mistake
testing
show examples
, I believe that it is beneficial in identifying the signs and finding the right treatments as we do not have any other procedures to rely on even though there have been many successful technological advancements in the medical industry.
Submitted by jeeanay on

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Task Achievement
To improve Task Achievement in your essay, ensure that you fully respond to all parts of the task. Though your essay touches on both views and provides an opinion, the development of each view and the explanation of your opinion could be more nuanced and detailed, providing a balanced discussion that demonstrates a clear understanding of the topic. Additionally, providing more targeted and specific examples would strengthen your arguments and enhance relevance.
Coherence & Cohesion
For Coherence and Cohesion, while your essay presents a logical structure that is easy to follow, and your introduction and conclusion are present, you should work on enhancing the connection between ideas. Use a wider range of cohesive devices and vary your sentence structures to ensure that the progression of ideas within and across paragraphs is more smooth and natural. Supporting main points should relate closely to the topic of the paragraph and must be elaborated further for a thorough understanding.

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