In this modern day and age, some individuals hold the belief that professionals such as engineers and doctors should work in the country where they educated and trained but others think oppositely has sparked much debate. In my essay, I would like to give my opinion about both these views and discuss.

It is an undeniable fact that our world is developing at a very rapid pace.
As a result
of
this
,
people
who want to be
proffesional
Correct your spelling
professional
about
Change preposition
at
show examples
his or her
job
Fix the agreement mistake
jobs
show examples
achieve their goals easily.
That is
why, every passing day
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
new
professionals
are appearing. So, what are they going to do? Are they going to stay in that
country
that
Correct word choice
where
show examples
they became
proffesional
Correct your spelling
professional
? We live in a free world, nobody is a slave now. So, in my opinion,
everbody
Correct your spelling
everybody
can do whatever they want. If a professional sees a better
carrier
Correct your spelling
career
show examples
or a better life in another
country
, he or she should go without
hesitations
Fix the agreement mistake
hesitation
show examples
.
Thus
, they want to build a better life for themselves or their children and they deserve it.
People
who are
professionals
put a lot of effort
to become
Change preposition
into becoming
show examples
professional
Fix the agreement mistake
professionals
show examples
in the past and they need to eat the apple
as a result
of that effort.
On the other hand
,
people
have to give respect to their
country
where they became professional
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
since that
country
raised them.
That is
why, some
people
think the
professionals
must stay in their
country
and work for them.
Moreover
, if all of the
proffesionals
Correct your spelling
professionals
went to another
country
, who is going to develop and improve their main
country
?
That is
a serious problem that a lot of countries still have been suffering
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
.
For example
, I am living in Turkey right now and most of the
professionals
are going to
another
Fix the agreement mistake
other countries
show examples
country
to build better
carrier
Correct your spelling
careers
show examples
. But, if it is going to same way
like
Change preposition
as
show examples
this
, there will be no
professional
Fix the agreement mistake
professionals
show examples
at their job and nobody will improve their
country
. Having considered all the arguments above, in my opinion,
professionals
can go
the
Change preposition
to the
show examples
country
that they choose. It is their wanting and nobody can touch that. Undoubtedly, the problem
Change preposition
of that
show examples
that
Correct determiner usage
the
show examples
lack of
professionals
in some countries will increase. From my point of view,
Correct article usage
the responsibles
show examples
responsibles
Correct your spelling
responsible
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
this
problem are governments and they need to prevent it. But still, any professional can go anywhere they want.
Submitted by sarperkuzay on

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structure
Ensure that your essay is well-structured, with clear introductions and conclusions. General statements without specifics are not enough to frame your essay.
supporting evidence
You need to provide specific examples and evidence to support your main points. This makes your argument stronger and your essay more persuasive.
grammar and spelling
Be mindful of your grammar and vocabulary. This essay has several grammatical errors and spelling mistakes, such as 'proffesional' instead of 'professional', which can be distracting to the reader and impact their understanding of your points.
connective language
Your essay would benefit from clear and varied connecting phrases to better link ideas and paragraphs, thereby improving the logical flow of your writing.
argument development
While it is good to address both sides of the argument, make sure to thoroughly develop your own perspective with adequate arguments and examples.

Structure your answers in logical paragraphs

The easiest way to score well on the IELTS Task 2 writing portion is to structure your writing in a solid essay format.

A strong argument essay structure can be split up into 4 paragraphs, each containing 4 sentences (except the conclusion paragraph, which only contains 3 sentences).

Stick to this essay structure:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

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