Smoking not only harms the smoker, but also people nearby. Therefore, smoking should be banned in public places. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
It is a documented fact that the repercussions of smoking not only affect the smoker but
also
the passive smokers around them. In the popular perception, a vast majority of citizens have an ever-growing concern regarding this
, and affirm that it is beneficial to ban smoking in public areas. I largely concur with the assertion that it is essential to impose certain restrictions on smokers. Thus
, it is worth ascertaining this
polemical issue thoroughly.
First and foremost, there are certain factors contributing to smoking as part of an individual’s lifestyle. Certain people deem smoking a leisure activity to release their stress, although
it may lead to addiction. Nevertheless
, this
notorious habit causes dire consequences if they engage in it in the long term. It is undeniable that they will be exposed to pernicious chemicals by inhaling it
into their lungs. Having smoked cigarettes for an extended period of time, Correct pronoun usage
them
individuals
place their life
in jeopardy. Oftentimes, heavy smokers are more prone to suffer from insidious diseases, including respiratory infections and lung cancer.
Incidentally, releasing smoke from cigarettes causes negative implications, not only to the smokerFix the agreement mistake
lives
,
but Remove the comma
apply
also
people
at a close distance. Ample research has demonstrated that the numbers of certain Change preposition
to people
individuals
who are exposed to cigarette smoke are at a higher health risk compared to the smoker. The findings are alarming to a majority of groups of individuals
, significantly to those who belong to vulnerable groups including young children, elderly people and individuals
suffering from serious diseases. Worse still, the implications of smoking in public also
affect the environment as cigarette waste could release hazardous chemicals to
the soil if not Change preposition
into
disposed
properly.
Viewed as a whole, the habit of smoking has been proven to aggravate not only Add the preposition
disposed of
individuals
,
but Remove the comma
apply
also
the general public and the environment. Thus
, the availability of a safe public space for every type of group is required to ensure the safety of all parties. This
can benefit the world at large, notably in their health concerns.Submitted by a.wangsaatmaja on
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task achievement
Task response: While you have presented a clear position and arguments on the given topic, ensure that your essay consistently addresses the prompt throughout and include more varied and specific examples to illustrate your points effectively. Aim for comprehensive coverage of the issue by exploring different perspectives and showing some balance in your argumentation.
coherence cohesion
Coherence and cohesion: You have logically organized your ideas and used a range of cohesive devices. To enhance this further, consider creating stronger topic sentences and ensuring each paragraph flows smoothly into the next. Use more precise linking phrases to guide the reader through your argument and ensure paragraphs are clearly discernible with a single controlling idea.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+
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