IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

More people are shopping online today than ever before. Why do people choose to shop this way? Are there any disadvantages to shopping online?

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The trend of purchasing goods online has been tremendously increasing. The major reason behind
this
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 is the tight work schedule of the people and availability of better price.
However
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, I strongly believe that there are plenty of drawbacks
such
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 as when items get shipped the companies send low-quality duplicates and it is hard to make the right decision. The primary advantage of getting products from the internet is that the masses are super busy with their work and sometimes they hardly have time to eat or sleep. In
such
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 a situation, going out to purchase seems to be a difficult task for them,
thus
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 in order to fulfil their desire to get new stuff, they choose to look for alternatives to get the thing delivered to home.
Hence
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, creating online marketing.
Additionally
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, an individual can search for alternatives to the stuff and even can look for the same on different websites and order from the place that offers better prices. The fact that most small shops are shutting down in a country like India as their business was overtaken by e-market, proves that ordering by phone is need of hour.
Disadvantage
Add an article
The disadvantage
A disadvantage
show examples
 of purchasing goods as bought has a negative impact as sometimes seller show products differently in their advertisement
whereas
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after
Add the comma(s)
, after
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 the delivery, the thing seems to be completely different. To make more profit, they end up sending low-quality products, leading to dissatisfaction in the mind of the person who really wanted that thing.
Moreover
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, selecting clothes
as well as
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 shoes is
such
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 a difficult task. If a certain piece of cloth is liked by an individual, choosing accurate size matters. Different companies put the sizes
according to
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 their rules and most of the time, the purchaser ends up ordering too small or oversized product. A number of complaints posted on social media pages about poor quality and size, the customers have to undergo after ordering shows that the advancement has brought, a little bit of stress in the minds of buyers.
To conclude
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, E-shopping has made our lives easy as we can get things delivered to the house without physically visiting the place and even gives a facility to compare prices.
Nevertheless
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, sometimes, the purchaser ends up getting a low fabric cloth and the wrong size.

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coherence cohesion
Your essay structure needs substantial improvement. Introduce your topic with a clear thesis statement, and ensure each paragraph contains a single, clear idea, followed by supporting sentences. The conclusion should effectively summarize the arguments made.
coherence cohesion
Work on your introduction and conclusion. Both should be well defined, with the introduction setting the stage and stating the main points, and the conclusion drawing everything together and restating your viewpoint or summarizing the main points.
coherence cohesion
Provide clearer topic sentences and organize your supporting points more effectively. Each paragraph should revolve around one central idea with relevant examples or explanations.
task achievement
Ensure your response fully addresses all parts of the task. It should provide a balanced view of both the reasons for online shopping and its disadvantages with appropriate coverage.
task achievement
Clarify and expand upon your ideas for greater understanding. Use a mix of simple and complex sentences that clearly convey your arguments and viewpoints.
task achievement
Include more specific examples that are relevant to the point being made. These examples should be detailed and enhance your argument.
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