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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The chart gives information on the percentage of women going into higher education in five countries for the years 1980 and 2015. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The chart gives information on the percentage of women going into higher education in five countries for the years 1980 and 2015. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
#information #percentage #women #education #five #countries #years #summarise #features #comparisons
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The chart shows
top
Correct article usage
the top
show examples
 five countries where female
students
Use synonyms
 choose to move for higher education in two time periods (1980 and 2015).
Overall
Linking Words
,
it is clear that
Linking Words
 Australia and France were the two most
in demand
Add a hyphen
in-demand
show examples
 countries for higher education in 1980
whereas
Linking Words
 in 2015, female
students
Use synonyms
 chose Australia and the USA which had high
percentage
Fix the agreement mistake
percentages
show examples
.
However
Linking Words
, South Korea had the lowest output in both
years
Use synonyms
.
According to
Linking Words
 the bar chart, the output of
United
Correct article usage
the United
show examples
 Kingdom and the USA in 1980,
were
Change the verb form
was
show examples
 only between 35-40%
while
Linking Words
 there were a significant number of female
students
Use synonyms
 in
year
Change the article
the year
show examples
 2015
which
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
approximately 55-58%.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, Australia became the most popular country which had almost 60% of women
attended
Wrong verb form
attending
show examples
 in both
years
Use synonyms
. A large number of female
students
Use synonyms
 went to France with a small difference between the
years
Use synonyms
 of 1980 (50%) and 2015 (54%).
Nonetheless
Linking Words
, South Korea had the lowest number of female
students
Use synonyms
 in
Use synonyms
years
Correct article usage
the years
show examples
 that are mentioned.
Also
Linking Words
, the percentage in 1980 was twice the result in 2015.
Submitted by dayanarobancho on

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Vocabulary: Replace the words students, years with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.
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