Some people believe it is best to accept a bad situation, such as an unsatisfactory job or shortage of money. Others argue that it is better to try and improve such situations.Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.Give reasons for your answers and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience
Nowadays a huge amount of
people
have terrible circumstances with a job and because of lack of money. A good illustration of these situations which
can affect Correct pronoun usage
apply
people
's mental health and it
can lead to many problems. Experts point out that for some Correct pronoun usage
apply
people
these bad situations seems
Change the verb form
seem
as
trials and to others like a bad fate.
We cannot deny that successful Change preposition
like
work
and good
salary Correct article usage
a good
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
one
of the main reasons Correct determiner usage
some
of
Change preposition
for
people
’s happiness, but we can not say that society chooses their
own fate, it depends on Correct pronoun usage
its
people
. Furthermore
humans did not get used to non-success, it seems to be Add a comma
Furthermore,
a
main reason Correct article usage
the
of
Change preposition
for
people
failures which are the end for someone and just a new chance to improve themselves for others. Change noun form
people's
Moreover
one should not forget that we live in an
cruel world and you need to fight for your happiness and lucky Change the article
a
life
.
On the other
hand
we can see that many Add a comma
hand,
people
toil all their life
and cannot reach their goals. Perhaps it's just a result of bad work
,
because I strongly believe that everyone can achieve their dream. We can see Remove the comma
apply
this
when we compare people
with opposed levels of life
. Such
as a poor students, they
need to create Correct pronoun usage
apply
reputation
and authority by themselves.
From these Correct article usage
a reputation
arguments
we can conclude that Add a comma
arguments,
people
’s work
reflects on life
success, after losses you get a new chance to develop your work
skills and also
you need to remember that you can always improve yourself every day.Submitted by 6atb8k on
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Introduction & Conclusion
The essay lacks a clear introduction and conclusion, which are essential for establishing context and summarizing the main ideas. Ensure that every essay begins with a brief introduction that presents the topic and ends with a conclusion that restates the main points and your opinion.
Paragraph Structure
The structure of the essay could be improved by better organizing the paragraphs. Each paragraph should have a clear main idea and subsequent sentences that offer support and development to that idea.
Specific Examples
The use of examples is crucial to illustrate your points. While the essay attempts to use examples, they should be more specific and directly related to the arguments presented to strengthen the essay's persuasiveness.
Task Response
Ensure that the response fully addresses all parts of the task. The essay needs to more clearly discuss both views and explicitly provide your own opinion. Each view should be explored and analyzed with equal depth.
Cohesion & Flow
Transitions between sentences and paragraphs need to be smoother to guide the reader through your arguments. Use cohesive devices such as linking words and phrases to make the relationship between ideas clear.
Grammar & Vocabulary
Consistency in tense, as well as accuracy in grammar and vocabulary, is necessary for the essay to be coherent and easily understood. Proofreading can help eliminate errors and improve the overall quality of the writing.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.