In many countries today, people in cities either live alone or in small family units, rather than in large, extended family groups. Is this a positive or negative trend?

#countries #people #cities #live #units #groups #trend

Nowadays, many people are more likely to live a life by themselves or with a few members of their family than with a large number of relatives. I think its positive effects outweigh the negative ones and

this

essay will explain why. First of all, with the rapid development of society and technology, many youngsters are working as specialists in high-tech, financial or scientific fields which means that they need to focus and spend more

time

and energy to complete their work well. If they live in a big group of family, some of their

time

may be dominated by communicating or having parties with relatives, so

that

Correct word choice

apply

show examples

they

could

Verb problem

show examples

not have enough

time

to do their

job

Fix the agreement mistake

jobs

show examples

In addition

, those who live alone and live in small family units are freer to enjoy the way of life they want to have which is difficult to achieve when they stay with parents and grandparents who may criticise their lifestyle that regarded as unhealthy.

Nevertheless

, staying alone have some negative effects, it could be avoided by

doing

Verb problem

making

show examples

prediction

Change preposition

about

show examples

them. Admittedly, when people struggle with the difficulties faced at work or have some health problem, they find it pretty easy to feel lonely if they have no parents and siblings around them. But, they could move to their parent's home when the

time

comes and it is not a conflict with their living alone.

Moreover

, in some special festivals,

such

as the Chinese New Year and the Mid-Autumn Festival, it will be not so interesting if there are not many family members celebrating together.

However

due to

Chinese tradition, lots of people choose to go to their parent's home or back to their homeland when important and special days come up and it can avoid regret efficiently. In conclusion,

although

it has some disadvantages to living alone, the advantages could outweigh that.

Submitted by odongua on Thu Dec 07 2023

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task achievement

The introduction and conclusion are missing clear thesis statements that indicate the writer's position on the topic. Make sure to include a clear opinion in both the introduction and conclusion.

coherence cohesion

The essay would benefit from more explicit topic sentences that clearly state the main point of each paragraph. This would improve the logical progression and clarity of ideas.

task achievement

There is a need for more elaboration and development of ideas. Adding more detailed examples and explanations would strengthen the argument and provide deeper insight into the issue.

coherence cohesion

There are some grammatical errors and awkward phrasing throughout the essay. Proofreading and editing for grammar, vocabulary choice, and sentence structure would significantly improve the quality of writing.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Grammar mistakes
 

5 paragraphs

311 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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In many countries today, people in cities either live alone or in small family units, rather than in large, extended family groups. Is this a positive or negative trend?

Fully explain your ideas

Students should pay the full cost for their own study, because university education benefits individuals rather than society. To what extend do you agree or disagree?

Some people say in order to prevent illness and disease governments should focus on reducing environmental pollution and housing problems. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Write about the following topic. More and more people are relying on the private car as their major means of transportation. Describe some of the problems over-reliance on cars can cause, and suggest at least one possible solution.

In some countries, an increasing number of children are overweight or obese as a result of eating too much fast food. Banning fast food from school canteens is the best way to flight this problem. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?