Nowadays, most countries can improve the standard of living through economic development, but some social values are lost as a result. Do you think the advantages of this phenomenon outweigh the disadvantages?

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Introduction

During three

previos

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decates

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decades

, the lifestyle of

humens

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humans

are

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show examples

dramatically changed .

The technology

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Technology

show examples

is the most

factor

Correct word choice

important factor

show examples

Correct pronoun usage

that impact

show examples

impact

Correct subject-verb agreement

impacts

show examples

the

rasing

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raising

show examples

economy

Correct article usage

the economy

show examples

level.

Body paragraph 1

However

Linking Words

, we can

See

Fix capitalization

see

show examples

Linking Words

this days

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this day

these days

show examples

the

Correct determiner usage

that

show examples

social value

decresseing gradualy

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decreasing gradually

Body paragraph 2

this

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essay, we will

duscuss

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discuss

about some

drowbacks

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drawbacks

this

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matter and

acording

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according

to me the Positives hold more significance.

Body paragraph 3

To commence

withe

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with

show examples

econome develofment

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economic development

upgrade

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upgrades

show examples

the

Use synonyms

People

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People's

show examples

life

standerd

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standards

Body paragraph 4

In general, if they have enough money , the community will be more comfortable .

Body paragraph 5

How

this

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could be?

The job

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Job

show examples

opportunities are increasing, so most

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apply

show examples

Job

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the Job

show examples

seekers will

works

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work

show examples

and they will get

salary

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a salary

the salary

show examples

. There

are

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show examples

another worth Considering factor is education. To explain, the educational

People

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can

effect

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affect

show examples

the economy by opening diversity of businesses in

diffrent

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different

aspects .

Body paragraph 6

for example

Linking Words

, interior design, restaurants ,

Architectur

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architecture

and markets.

Body paragraph 7

On the

ore

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one

show examples

hand,

the

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this

show examples

is an

arament

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argument

armament

can develop the economy , as much as the humane work in building

magnifcent

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magnificent

Constraction

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Construction

, as their countries will be more attract for the tourists, especially if they have great

heritag

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heritage

cultur

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culture

As a

Linking Words

result

Add a comma

result,

show examples

all

this

Linking Words

will

decreas

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decrease

the Poverite between the

People

Use synonyms

and they will be more open to the world.

Body paragraph 8

Dispite

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Despite

this

Linking Words

, i am

full

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fully

show examples

agree that the

importains

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importance

of social values will go down,

becaus

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because

the employee will fight to be secessesfull which will not mack the

people

Use synonyms

have

alot

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a lot

of time to

built

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build

show examples

strong

relation

Replace the word

relationships

show examples

with their family and friends.

Conclusion

In conclusion,

while

Linking Words

the respect and values will drop,

but

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apply

show examples

the

economical

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economic

show examples

advancement

are

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show examples

more significant.

From

Change the preposition

show examples

my opinion reducing the

unemplotment

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unemployment

and poverty rate

are

Correct subject-verb agreement

show examples

more important than social Values.

aljoori95

Dec 7, 2023

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task achievement

The essay lacks clarity and precision in conveying the central argument. The introduction does not clearly state the candidate's position, and the conclusion is not effectively summarised. The candidate should work on clearly presenting and restating their argument in both the introduction and conclusion.

coherence cohesion

The essay has poor logical structure, making it difficult for the reader to follow the argument. Develop a clearer thematic progression, organising ideas into well-structured paragraphs, each with a main idea followed by supporting details.

coherence cohesion

Supporting points in the essay lack development and relevant examples. For a higher score, expand on the main points with clear, specific examples, demonstrating an understanding of the topic and the prompt's question.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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5
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
53
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

10 paragraphs

274 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

standard of living
economic development
social values
materialism
community welfare
sustainable technologies
environmental degradation
social stratification
social cohesion
economic status

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Nowadays, most countries can improve the standard of living through economic development, but some social values are lost as a result. Do you think the advantages of this phenomenon outweigh the disadvantages?

Nowadays businesses face problems with new employees who just finished their education and lack some interpersonal skills such as the ability to work in a team. What do you think is the main cause of the problem? How can it be resolved?

Some people believe that the main purpose of schools is to turn children into good citizens and workers, while others argue that schools should benefit them as individuals. Do you agree or disagree?

Music play an important role in society, others think it is simply a form of entertainment for individuals. Discuss both views and give your opinion Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Organizing a large family celebrations, such as a wedding can often create problems. What can be the problems associated with organizing a large family event and what solutions can you suggest?