IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

The graph below shows the proportion of four different materials that were recycled from 1982 to 2010 in a particular country. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The graph below shows the proportion of four different materials that were recycled from 1982 to 2010 in a particular country. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
#proportion #four #materials #country #summarise #information #features #comparisons
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The graph shows four varieties
kinds
Change preposition
of kinds
show examples
 of recycling
materials
Use synonyms
 in a particular country.
Thi
Correct your spelling
The
show examples
materials
Use synonyms
 are
:
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 paper and cardboard, glass containers,
aluminum
Change the spelling
aluminium
show examples
 cans and plastic from 1982 to 2010.
Overall
Linking Words
, there
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
 a fluctuation in the
per cent
Correct your spelling
percentage
show examples
 of the
materials
Use synonyms
. Looking into more details, the aluminium cans are increased dramatically, and
they
Correct your spelling
the
show examples
he
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
most striking figure was forty-five per cent in 2008. In the same way, the plastics
was
Change the verb form
were
show examples
 rising slowly, and the high figure was ten per cent in 2008. The glass containers
was
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
declined from 1982 to 1988, after that,
it's
Unnecessary verb
it
show examples
 gradually
inclined
Verb problem
increased
show examples
 until 2008.
The paper
Correct article usage
Paper
show examples
 and cardboard
were fluctuated
Change to the active voice
fluctuated
have fluctuated
show examples
,
moreover
Linking Words
, it was the
highes
Correct your spelling
highest
materials
Use synonyms
 in between the rest of the other three recycled
materials
Use synonyms
, and
it's
Unnecessary verb
it
show examples
 decreased from 1992 to 2008.
Submitted by aljoori95 on

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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Vocabulary: Replace the words materials with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "shows" in your introduction.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 2 times.
▼
Topic Vocabulary:
  • proportion
  • recycled
  • materials
  • increased
  • paper and cardboard
  • plastic
  • glass
  • metal
  • significant increase
  • relatively stable
  • fluctuating
  • period
  • starting
  • reaching
  • gradually increasing
  • remained low
  • experienced
  • showed
  • greatest
  • proportion
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