student perform better in school when they are rewarder than punished. to what extend do you agree or disagree?
School
consider Fix the agreement mistake
Schools
to apply
some methodology to improve Change the verb form
applying
student
academic performance. One of the method
is Change to a plural noun
methods
give
some Fix the infinitive
to give
reward
to motivate rather than punishement
. In fact, I disagree with Correct your spelling
punishment
with
the idea that giving Remove the redundancy
apply
reward
to Fix the agreement mistake
rewards
Add an article
the student
a student
student
can motivate Fix the agreement mistake
students
Add an article
the student
a student
student
to perform better.
Giving Fix the agreement mistake
students
reward
is one of Fix the agreement mistake
rewards
good
Correct article usage
the good
idea
for Fix the agreement mistake
ideas
motivate
Change the verb form
motivating
student
to achieve better academic Fix the agreement mistake
students
score
. Fix the agreement mistake
scores
This
method Add a missing verb
is common
common
used as an incentive for Change the word
commonly
Add an article
a student
the student
student
who Fix the agreement mistake
students
want
to Change the verb form
wants
actively
involved in some Add a missing verb
be actively
extraculicular
activity, make an Correct your spelling
extracurricular
extra-curricular
innvoation
and initiative. Correct your spelling
innovation
Therefore
, to make it more intersting
, some Correct your spelling
interesting
school
can give the Fix the agreement mistake
schools
reward
in academic credit. To illustrate, school
could make a policy for Fix the agreement mistake
schools
student
who join and win a competition or olympiade can get extra academic credit or scholarship. Fix the agreement mistake
students
School
can Fix the agreement mistake
Schools
also
take an
advantage by promoting Remove the article
apply
about
Change preposition
apply
the
Correct article usage
apply
student
achievement to public
and Correct article usage
the public
build
a good reputation for Wrong verb form
building
school
.
Add an article
the school
However
, only give
Wrong verb form
giving
reward
can not Fix the agreement mistake
rewards
fully
effective for Add a missing verb
be fully
make
Change the verb form
making
student
perform better at Fix the agreement mistake
students
school
. Reward
must be balanced with punishment
, so student
Fix the agreement mistake
students
also
can learn about responsibility. To support that objective, Add an article
the school
a school
school
should have Fix the agreement mistake
schools
a rules
about Correct the article-noun agreement
rules
a rule
reward
and Fix the agreement mistake
rewards
punishment
so it
can be Correct pronoun usage
they
implement
Wrong verb form
implemented
consistent
and Change the word
consistently
equal
Change the word
equally
to
all Change preposition
for
student
. Fix the agreement mistake
students
For instance
, school
can make a Add an article
the school
a school
reward
for student
who actively in class and Fix the agreement mistake
students
also
punishment
to
Change preposition
for
student
who is make the class noisy or not Fix the agreement mistake
students
condusive
situation. Correct your spelling
conducive
This
balance
concept, not only make Change the verb form
balanced
student
perform better but Add an article
the student
also
obey the rules and Add a missing verb
be resposible
resposible
for what they do.
In conclusion, giving Correct your spelling
responsible
reward
to Fix the agreement mistake
rewards
student
is not only a good way to motivate Fix the agreement mistake
students
student
to perform better, but balanced it with Fix the agreement mistake
students
punishment
, it can make student
learn about responsibility. I, Fix the agreement mistake
students
therefore
remainly
convinced that Correct your spelling
remain
school
not only applied Correct article usage
the school
reward
approach alone.Correct article usage
the reward
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coherence cohesion
The essay presents a basic structure that includes an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion, which is good. However, to improve coherence and cohesion and achieve a higher band score, work on the logical flow of ideas throughout the essay. Ideas should progress naturally from one to the next, with clear topic sentences that introduce the main idea of each paragraph and cohesive devices that help the reader link these ideas together smoothly.
task achievement
In terms of task achievement, the essay meets the minimum requirements of addressing the topic by presenting both sides of the argument. Yet the essay could be significantly developed by expanding on these ideas, including more in-depth analysis, and providing more relevant examples to support the argument. Ensure that your position is clear throughout the entire essay and is consistently related back to the question prompt. This will make your essay comprehensive and complete in response to the task.
Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
Linking words are very important in your essay.
To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.
Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.
In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.
Linking word examples:
- firstly
- secondly
- thirdly
- in additional
- moreover
- also
- for example
- for instance
- therefore
- however
- although
- even though
- despite