IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some people think that it would be better for large companies and industry to move to regional areas outside large urban centers. Do you think the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

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It is believed that moving large
companies
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 and
industries
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 from
cities
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 to less-congested
areas
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 is a good idea.
While
Linking Words
 it will ensure productivity in the city as the
center
Change the spelling
centre
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 of many important sectors
keep
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keeps
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 alive, building big manufacturing sites can bring new environmental
problems
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 to rural
areas
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. As
cities
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 are becoming more and more condensed, building large
industries
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 outside urban
centers
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centres
show examples
 will save the
cities
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 from possible worse conditions. Avoiding
cities
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to go
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from going
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 from bad to worse is essential because, for many years, these highly-populated
areas
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 have been the
centers
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centres
show examples
 for nearly all important sectors
such
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 as health, education, government, and economy. It is
for
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this
Linking Words
 reason that many huge, multinational
industries
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 in developed countries are now relocating their operations away to regional
areas
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 in some developing countries.
This
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 will ensure their business thrives without annoying an environment
that is
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 already faced with a lot of
problems
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such
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 as car pollution.
However
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,
this
Linking Words
 trend of moving large
companies
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 and
industries
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 to less-crowded
areas
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 is not entirely safe for the new targeted places. To open new
areas
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, business owners will need to spend time and energy cutting down trees and possibly other natural habitats for their facilities.
Instead
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 of solving the existing issues,
this
Linking Words
 relocation will create new
problems
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 in the immediate environment of the rural
areas
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. Dust pollution and industrial wastes coming from the construction process are likely to cause the biodiversities to run away or even die. A huge industry migration from Jakarta to the future capital city of Indonesia in the Kalimantan island,
for example
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, has been reported to reduce the population of animals native to the area
such
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 as Orang Utan and Bekantan. In conclusion, only moving large
companies
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 and
industries
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 from one place to another will not have a major
impacts
Correct the article-noun agreement
impact
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 on addressing the
problems
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 posed by large
companies
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 and
industries
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.
Instead
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 of planning for relocation, company owners should focus more on building more sustainable
industries
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 that will not only minimize the existing
problems
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 but
also
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 benefit the surrounding environment.

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coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear central idea that is developed coherently. Avoid mixing multiple ideas within a single paragraph.
coherence cohesion
Work on logical sequencing of sentences and ideas to improve the flow of your essay.
coherence cohesion
Make sure your introduction and conclusion are clear and directly address the question. Both should effectively frame the essay, setting out your position in the introduction and summarizing it in the conclusion.
task achievement
Ensure that you address all parts of the task with sufficient detail. Your response should fully address the prompt given, exploring both advantages and disadvantages with a clear position on whether the advantages outweigh the disadvantages.
task achievement
Develop your main points with detailed supporting ideas and evidence. Ideas should be expanded upon to demonstrate critical thinking and depth of analysis.
task achievement
Use specific examples to substantiate your arguments. Examples should be relevant and detailed to effectively support the point being made.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Economic Development
  • Job Opportunities
  • Local Spending
  • Infrastructure Development
  • Urban Congestion
  • Traffic Congestion
  • Pollution Levels
  • Overpopulation
  • Operational Costs
  • Quality of Life
  • Living Conditions
  • Commuting
  • Community Development
  • Healthcare
  • Education
  • Social Services
  • Environmental Impact
  • Innovation Hubs
  • Collaborations
  • Profitability
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