IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 2

You should spend about 20 minutes on this task. The plans below show a student accommodation buildings 2010 and now. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant You should write at least 150 words.

#minutes #plans #show #student #accommodation #buildings #summarise #information #features #comparisons
The given diagram shows the comparison of accommodation buildings between 2010 and now. The given diagram will be summarised in the following essay. In 2010, there was a
garden
are
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
where they
will maintain
Wrong verb form
maintained
show examples
 plants and some trees.
Notably
Add a comma
Notably,
show examples
 the building was covered by
garden
Correct article usage
a garden
show examples
area
by
Change preposition
on
show examples
 two sides.
Besides
,
bathroom
Correct article usage
the bathroom
show examples
 there was
an
Change the article
a
show examples
 space called
Correct article usage
the livingroom
show examples
livingroom
Correct your spelling
living room
show examples
 where students
can
Wrong verb form
could
show examples
 discuss generally and
that
is
Wrong verb form
was
show examples
 the one and only chance to speak and engage with all other students. There are 3 student bedrooms in the accommodation building. Nowadays the structure of the accommodation building was not changed totally but there was a slight change in the building.
Additionally
, they have added the en-suit room near
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the entrance and it is attached to one of the student bedrooms.
However
, there is a huge reduction
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
garden
Add an article
the garden
show examples
area
 because of the extension of
student
Correct article usage
the student
show examples
 bedroom.
While
 comparing the two given plan diagrams, there was a huge
area
 of
garden
 and
presence
Correct article usage
the presence
show examples
 of
Correct article usage
a livingroom
show examples
livingroom
Correct your spelling
living room
show examples
. In 2010 we can see only the absence of the living room and
garden
area
.
Submitted by insighttribez on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

introduction conclusion present
The essay lacks a clear introduction and conclusion, which are important to frame the comparison and provide a summary of the changes in student accommodation buildings from 2010 to present. Please include clear opening and closing paragraphs to improve task response and coherence.
logical structure
The comparison could be better structured; it should be easier for the reader to follow the changes described. Use clear and logical sequencing of information, perhaps by comparing each part of the building in a systematic way. This will greatly enhance the coherence and cohesion of your response.
supported main points
You should include more supported main points by elaborating on the changes with relevant and specific examples. Instead of merely stating the changes, explain how these changes might affect the students or the functionality of the accommodation to deepen the analysis.
complete response
To achieve a higher score in task achievement, ensure that the response fully addresses the requirements of the task. This includes a thorough and detailed comparison of the features of the student accommodation buildings, with a focus on the significance of these changes.
clear comprehensive ideas
Ideas need to be developed more comprehensively throughout the essay. Presenting clear, detailed, and well-explained ideas, often supported by examples, is crucial to scoring higher in this area. Aim to expand on the points made by adding depth to your analysis.
relevant specific examples
Incorporate relevant and specific examples to illustrate the main features and make comparisons where relevant. You must provide sufficient detail when comparing the structures from 2010 to the present, considering the impact and purpose of the changes made.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: