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Writing Samples
Band 4

The maps below show the centre of a small town called Islip as it is now, and plans for its development. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The maps below show the centre of a small town called Islip as it is now, and plans for its development. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
The two maps demonstrate the current version of the city
centre
Use synonyms
 of Islip which is a small town and its proposed enhancement plan.
Overall
Linking Words
, the plan is
surrounding
Change the verb form
to surround
show examples
 most
area
Fix the agreement mistake
areas
show examples
 of the
centre
Use synonyms
 with dual
Use synonyms
carriageway
Fix the agreement mistake
carriageways
show examples
while
Linking Words
 widening it toward to countryside and adding some facilities into that area. First of all, there is a main
road
Use synonyms
 which
streched
Correct your spelling
stretched
stretches
 east to west through the city
centre
Use synonyms
.
This
Linking Words
road
Use synonyms
 has two
side
Use synonyms
 roads, one
is leading
Wrong verb form
leads
show examples
 to
school
Correct article usage
the school
show examples
while
Linking Words
 the other
leading
Wrong verb form
leads
show examples
 to
Use synonyms
park
Add an article
the park
show examples
.
While
Linking Words
 the main
road
Use synonyms
 is to be pedestrianized, the two
side
Use synonyms
 roads are to be turned into a
carriageway
Use synonyms
 extending to the countryside north of the town
centre
Use synonyms
. The school and housing facility
placing
Wrong verb form
placed
show examples
at
Change preposition
on
show examples
 the south
side
Use synonyms
 of the plan will remain the same.
Secondly
Linking Words
, the shops which are
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 the
southside
Correct your spelling
south side
show examples
 of the main
road
Use synonyms
 currently
also
Linking Words
 will remain the same as it is now. Just between the shops and
south
Correct article usage
the south
show examples
side
Use synonyms
 of the planned
carriageway
Use synonyms
,
new
Correct article usage
a new
show examples
 housing facility will be added
beween
Correct your spelling
between
 the replaced housing and
park
Use synonyms
 which are already placed in the current version and the
park
Use synonyms
 will be smaller in its size.
Lastly
Linking Words
, the shops on the north
side
Use synonyms
 will be removed and
Linking Words
instead
Add a comma
instead,
show examples
 new facilities
such
Linking Words
 as
bus
Correct article usage
a bus
show examples
 station, shopping
centre
Use synonyms
, car
park
Use synonyms
 and new housing will be added.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, there will be
new
Correct article usage
a new
show examples
side
Use synonyms
road
Use synonyms
 from the
carriageway
Use synonyms
 toward
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
new housing placed
at
Change preposition
on
show examples
 the north
side
Use synonyms
.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: Change the first sentence in the introduction.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Basic structure: Change the fifth paragraph.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words centre, carriageway, road, side, park with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Only 2 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: The word "remain" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fifth paragraph.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • pedestrian-only zone
  • dual carriageway
  • current
  • surrounded by
  • propose
  • infrastructure
  • bus station
  • car park
  • residential housing
  • traffic flow
  • connectivity
  • green spaces
  • recreational areas
  • development plans
  • main features
  • town center
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