IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4.5

The rise of social media platforms has made it easier for people to vent their frustrations and complaints publicly. What is the consequence of this trend? Is there any benefit to expressing complaints on social media?

#rise #media #platforms #people #vent #frustrations #complaints #consequence #trend #benefit
In recent times, social media applications have increased and
has
Change the verb form
have
show examples
 allowed individuals to express frustration and comment widely.
This
 essay will first suggest that
this
 problem can result in controversy among
people
, followed by addressing the improvement of
person’s
Correct article usage
a person’s
show examples
 skills. When
people
 comment
severly
Correct your spelling
severely
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 any social media
platforms
Fix the agreement mistake
platform
show examples
, a contradiction will happen.
This
 is because when someone
received
Wrong verb form
receives
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 an attack, they cannot accept
this
 and they
complaint
Replace the word
complain
show examples
 back resulting in unstopped
conflicting
Replace the word
conflict
show examples
 between these
people
.
For example
, in
Correct article usage
the Tiktok
show examples
Tiktok
Correct your spelling
TikTok
show examples
 application, some girls posted clips of their dancing and there will be someone who disliked them
complaint
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complaining
show examples
 that their performance is quite bad.
As a result
, a person who
received
Wrong verb form
receives
show examples
this
feel
Correct subject-verb agreement
feels
show examples
 frustrated and
reply
Correct subject-verb agreement
replies
show examples
 back
severly
Correct your spelling
severely
. Nobody stops
this
 argument and will
last
 long for months.
Although
conflicting
Replace the word
conflict
show examples
 starts among individuals, skills developed
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
 a benefit of
this
 consequence. When
people
complaint
Replace the word
complain
show examples
, sometimes they might want someone to improve their abilities and a person who got feedback may use
this
 suggestion to develop themselves. Trainees,
for instance
, get
comment
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comments
show examples
 from viewers that they should improve
singing
Correct pronoun usage
their singing
show examples
. They will consider
about
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apply
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themselves to practice more
for becoming
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to become
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expertise
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experts
show examples
 in singing by learning a course by teachers to help them sing accurately in notes and rhythm.
Consequently
,
skills
Correct article usage
the skills
show examples
 of individuals will
be develop
Change the verb form
be developed
be developing
show examples
 and will have
confident
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confidence
show examples
 in these fields. In conclusion, though commenting
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 social media lead to
confliction
Replace the word
conflict
show examples
 between
people
, the abilities of those who
received
Wrong verb form
receive
show examples
complaint
 will be improved because they try harder to achieve
abilities
Correct article usage
the abilities
show examples
 they want.
Submitted by fah on

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Coherence & Cohesion
Ensure logical progression of ideas. The essay exhibited some structure, but transitions between points were abrupt, impacting the flow. Use cohesive devices effectively to improve the connectivity between your ideas.
Coherence & Cohesion
Include a clear introduction and conclusion. Each should distinctly set up and summarize the essay's main points, respectively. The conclusion should also clearly reflect upon the arguments made within the body of the essay.
Coherence & Cohesion
Support your main points with detailed examples. While attempts to provide examples were present, they could be more developed and relevant to support the argument effectively.
Task Achievement
Ensure a direct response to the task's questions. While the essay attempts to address the topics, the points need to be expanded and more directly linked to the questions asked. Clear and comprehensive development of ideas is crucial to fully satisfy the task requirements.
Task Achievement
Include more relevant and specific examples to support your ideas. These examples should be directly tied to the points being made and work to clearly illustrate the arguments of the essay.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Accountability
  • Public venting
  • Reputation management
  • Social media platform
  • Complaining culture
  • Community solidarity
  • Conflict resolution
  • Entitlement
  • Direct communication
  • Customer service
  • Exposure
  • Misinformation
  • Amplification
  • Systemic issues
  • Constructive feedback
  • Online atmosphere
  • Negative content
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