Some people give more importance to artistics painters, writers, musicians) in the current age of rapidly developing technology and science. What do you think? Do people prefer arts to technology in your views?

In the modern era, there are numerous cutting-edge
technology
devices to make
people
immersed in their lives. But some
people
think it is vital for artists to perform their perfect shows rather than the influence of
technology
. In my opinion,
although
the artist contributes many mental values, it cannot overweigh the power of
technology
, especially in today's world.
On the other hand
, it is admitted that
art
has the ability to connect with human emotions, it fosters empathy and understanding with each other.
People
are evoked emotions through vibrant images or artistic shows. It cannot
deny
Wrong verb form
be denied
show examples
that
arts
play an important role in the cultural identity and preservation of
people
.
In addition
, many
people
can spend a huge amount of money
for
Change preposition
on
show examples
majestic shows or exhibitions.
Furthermore
, even public cultural activities are
also
bought by them to serve their hobbies.
However
, with the advancement of
technology
, there are many other forms of
art
that attract
people
rather than just
art
. To explain, because of the high-tech devices, the new
arts
Fix the agreement mistake
art
show examples
produced from modern platforms
such
as 3D
art
projection
technology
, virtual three-dimensional space, digital
art
, streaming music, and online literature.
Therefore
,
people
can enjoy the
arts
by means of
way
.
Otherwise
, we should find a
way
to balance
art
and
technology
in some ways.
For example
, digital
art
platforms allow for innovative ways to create and share
art
.The integration of
arts
in STEM (STEAM) emphasizes the value of creativity and innovation in scientific and technological fields, showing that
arts
and
technology
can co-exist and enhance one another. In conclusion,
technology
has a huge impact on human development.
Therefore
,one
way
or another,
art
cannot defeat
technology
. So we should find a
way
to reconcile them.
Submitted by nhuquynhbn2004 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
To enhance the clarity and comprehensiveness of your essay, try to provide more detailed and specific examples that directly support your argument. This will make your argument stronger and more convincing.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear main idea, supported by specific examples or details. This will help improve the organization and development of your arguments.
coherence cohesion
Consider using a wider range of linking words and phrases to demonstrate more complex relationships between ideas, which can further improve the flow and coherence of your essay.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Ultimate Speaking practice for IELTS

Practice speaking step by step, answer real-life questions, and build your confidence. Start your free trial and improve your speaking skills today!
Topic Vocabulary:
  • empathy
  • cultural identity
  • societal norms
  • irreplaceable
  • revolutionized
  • convenient
  • emotional depth
  • physical art forms
  • dilutes
  • sensory experience
  • authenticity
  • innovative
  • integration
  • creativity
  • complement
  • co-exist
What to do next:
Look at other essays:

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!