The best way to teach children to cooperate is through team sports at school. To what extent do you agree or disagree? You should write at least 250 words.

#children #team #sports #school

Nowadays, there are many

sport

Change the noun form

sports

show examples

facilities in

schoolthat

Correct your spelling

schools that

student

can participate

which

Change preposition

in which

show examples

their interested,

other

Correct word choice

and other

show examples

students

wants

Change the verb form

want

show examples

to cooperate but they are not good at

sports

that

Correct pronoun usage

which

show examples

make joining the

sports

team

inefficiently

Change the word

inefficient

show examples

. From my point of, I agree with

first

Change the article

the first

show examples

view and think that

through

Change preposition

apply

show examples

team

sport

school

give

Correct subject-verb agreement

gives

show examples

many benefits to students. In the following paragraphs, the reasons to support my opinion will be outlined.

Sport

is one of the most popular activities that

everyone

Replace the word

every one

show examples

Change the verb form

likes

show examples

to do in their leisure time.

Moreover

, every

school

such

as primary

school

and secondary

school

, provide

sport subject

Fix the agreement mistake

sports subjects

show examples

in the course that

make

Correct subject-verb agreement

makes

show examples

sprots

Correct your spelling

sports

play

the

Correct article usage

show examples

important role in the

school

Therefore

Add an article

the student

a student

show examples

student

Fix the agreement mistake

students

show examples

should

have

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

participant

Replace the word

participate

show examples

about

Change preposition

show examples

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

sports

and the best way is joining

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

team

sports

Through

Change preposition

Team

show examples

team

sports

have many

benefit

Change to a plural noun

benefits

show examples

Change preposition

for

show examples

students

such

as making

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

new friends who interserted

and

Change preposition

in and

show examples

facinated

Correct your spelling

fascinated

with the same

sport

Moreover

this

way will help

student

Fix the agreement mistake

students

show examples

know more about the

sport

than learning in class. I personally think that there are some

event

Fix the agreement mistake

events

show examples

such

sports

color

game

Fix the agreement mistake

games

show examples

that

apper

Correct your spelling

appear

in many

schoool

Correct your spelling

school

schools

this

event

serperate

Correct your spelling

separates

student

Fix the agreement mistake

students

show examples

Change preposition

into

show examples

many groups and

challenge

Fix the agreement mistake

challenges

show examples

with every

sport

type

that

Correct word choice

so that

show examples

school

Correct article usage

the school

show examples

can organize the competitions.

Finnally

Correct your spelling

Finally

, not only the medal that they earn

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

but

also

have many

experience

Change to a plural noun

experiences

show examples

about

Change preposition

show examples

the

sports

such

team work

Correct your spelling

teamwork

show examples

or support

skill

Fix the agreement mistake

skills

show examples

that they use

Change preposition

for

show examples

their

team

. In summary, even though there are some

student

are

Correct pronoun usage

who are

show examples

not good at

sports

but

Correct word choice

apply

show examples

they join and help

thier

Correct your spelling

their

team

support

Wrong verb form

supporting

show examples

and

encourage

Wrong verb form

encouraging

show examples

their

team

Therefore

, it

is recommend

Change the verb form

is recommended

show examples

to teach children to cooperate

Change preposition

apply

show examples

through

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

team

sports

Submitted by bhurin.kua on Thu Dec 07 2023

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coherence cohesion

Considerable effort was required to decipher the arguments due to a lack of coherent structure. It is imperative to flesh out ideas systematically and to transition smoothly between them, employing a range of linking phrases to enhance clarity.

coherence cohesion

Your introduction presents the topic but the clarity could be improved. Your conclusion effectively wraps up the essay; however, further elaboration in the body paragraphs is needed to adequately develop your main points.

coherence cohesion

Arguments lack depth and the presentation of ideas could be more substantive. A richer exposition of points, using detailed illustrations, assures a resonant and comprehensive argument. This entails not only asserting but also explaining how and why team sports can foster cooperation in children. Reflect upon and integrate these specifics into your essay for a more persuasive task response.

task achievement

Your essay only partially addresses the prompt. A balanced discussion, examining both the advantages and potential drawbacks of teaching children cooperation through team sports, is needed for a complete response. Introduce more nuanced perspectives to enhance the depth of response.

task achievement

While your essay includes personal views and some general examples, it falls short of offering a clear and comprehensive exploration of the topic. Aim for a stronger thesis statement and further elaborate your arguments with distinct examples that are directly related to the subject matter, thereby ensuring relevance and aiding comprehension.

task achievement

Specific examples used in support of claims are limited and somewhat general. To strengthen your task response, incorporate specific, relevant examples that provide tangible evidence of how team sports foster cooperation. Further, it is essential to consider offering contrasting viewpoints or counter-arguments to present a more rounded discussion.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

firstly
secondly
thirdly
in additional
moreover
also
for example
for instance
therefore
however
although
even though
despite

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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5Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
5Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
56Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

272 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

cooperation
teamwork
communication
values
applied
aspects
belonging
camaraderie
participating
essential
social skills

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The best way to teach children to cooperate is through team sports at school. To what extent do you agree or disagree? You should write at least 250 words.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

There are parents who are choosing to teach children themselves at home instead of sending them to school in some countries. Do the advantages of homeschooling outweigh the disadvantages?

Some people believe that educational success depends on good teacher, while others believe that students’ attitudes are important. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

In some countries young people have little leisure time and are under a lot of pressure to work hard in their studies. What do you think are the causes of this? What solutions can you suggest?

Many manufactured food and drink products contain high levels of sugar ,which causes many health problems .Sugary products shoud be mad more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar . do you agree or disagree ?

The plans below show a harbour in 2000 and how it looks today. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.