In many countries around the world, rural people are moving to cities, so the population in the countryside is decreasing. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?
It is believed that the population reduction in the countryside caused by city migration is not good for the sustainability of the left hometown. In my opinion,
however
, this
phenomenon poses positive influences because rural people
can push better competition in the job
markets and when they are successful, they tend to give back to their villages
.
The first positive development of seeing people
from countryside
migrating to big Add an article
the countryside
cities
for fortunes is that they are very likely to increase the competitiveness level in the job
markets. Since these people
are usually well-known for their high dedication and honesty, their presence will automatically create a better rivalry between workers. As a result
, the quality of the jobs delivered will follow as workers are trying to bring the best out of themselves. For example
, last
year, my city was rewarded with the best job
quality award in marketing sectors because there was always a strong competition between workers that come from every corner of my city including those from villages
.
Another good impact of having more villagers moving to cities
is that when they become successful, they tend to sideline a portion of their wealth to build their villages
. In many cases, most of these people
come to cities
with the intention to get
rich so that they can give back to their own community in the countryside. Change preposition
of getting
For example
, in 1990s
, Madura was an Indonesian island with one of the lowest welfare Change the article
the 1990s
rate
because most of the Fix the agreement mistake
rates
people
were too concerned with the traditional, locked model of rice farming. In
the beginning of Change the preposition
At
2000s
, Correct article usage
the 2000s
however
, the welfare rate surged as more and more Madurese succeed
in big Wrong verb form
succeeded
cities
with their authentic culinary businesses. They started to build more schools and important facilities, transferring their wealth to touch up their once-poor hometown.
In conclusion, while
this
phenomenon of rural people
moving to cities
seems to be a negative thing, it is actually positive because their presence can add to job
competitiveness leading to better work results and that
, in many cases, the success of Correct word choice
apply
villages
are
parallel to the success in the Correct subject-verb agreement
is
cities
.Submitted by joyapakpahan on
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coherence cohesion
Your essay demonstrates a reasonable logical structure, with an introduction and conclusion that are generally clear. The main points are supported, though at times the support could be more fully elaborated to further enhance coherence and cohesion.
task achievement
You addressed the task adequately by providing a personal view on the phenomenon of rural-to-urban migration and its potential positive impacts. However, to achieve a higher score, ensure that you fully elaborate on your points with more specific examples and a broader range of ideas.
Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
Linking words are very important in your essay.
To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.
Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.
In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.
Linking word examples:
- firstly
- secondly
- thirdly
- in additional
- moreover
- also
- for example
- for instance
- therefore
- however
- although
- even though
- despite