In many countries around the world, rural people are moving to cities, so the population in the countryside is decreasing. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

#countries #world #people #cities #population #countryside #development

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It is believed that the population reduction in the countryside caused by city migration is not good for the sustainability of the left hometown. In my opinion,

however

Linking Words

this

Linking Words

phenomenon poses positive influences because rural

people

Use synonyms

can push better competition in the

job

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markets and when they are successful, they tend to give back to their

villages

Use synonyms

. The first positive development of seeing

people

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from

countryside

Add an article

the countryside

show examples

migrating to big

cities

Use synonyms

for fortunes is that they are very likely to increase the competitiveness level in the

job

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markets. Since these

people

Use synonyms

are usually well-known for their high dedication and honesty, their presence will automatically create a better rivalry between workers.

As a result

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, the quality of the jobs delivered will follow as workers are trying to bring the best out of themselves.

For example

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last

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year, my city was rewarded with the best

job

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quality award in marketing sectors because there was always a strong competition between workers that come from every corner of my city including those from

villages

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. Another good impact of having more villagers moving to

cities

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is that when they become successful, they tend to sideline a portion of their wealth to build their

villages

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. In many cases, most of these

people

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come to

cities

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with the intention

to get

Change preposition

of getting

show examples

rich so that they can give back to their own community in the countryside.

For example

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, in

1990s

Change the article

the 1990s

show examples

, Madura was an Indonesian island with one of the lowest welfare

rate

Fix the agreement mistake

rates

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because most of the

people

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were too concerned with the traditional, locked model of rice farming.

Change the preposition

show examples

the beginning of

2000s

Correct article usage

the 2000s

show examples

however

Linking Words

, the welfare rate surged as more and more Madurese

succeed

Wrong verb form

succeeded

show examples

in big

cities

Use synonyms

with their authentic culinary businesses. They started to build more schools and important facilities, transferring their wealth to touch up their once-poor hometown. In conclusion,

while

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this

Linking Words

phenomenon of rural

people

Use synonyms

moving to

cities

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seems to be a negative thing, it is actually positive because their presence can add to

job

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competitiveness leading to better work results and

that

Correct word choice

apply

show examples

, in many cases, the success of

villages

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are

Correct subject-verb agreement

show examples

parallel to the success in the

cities

Use synonyms

Submitted by joyapakpahan on Thu Dec 07 2023

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coherence cohesion

Your essay demonstrates a reasonable logical structure, with an introduction and conclusion that are generally clear. The main points are supported, though at times the support could be more fully elaborated to further enhance coherence and cohesion.

task achievement

You addressed the task adequately by providing a personal view on the phenomenon of rural-to-urban migration and its potential positive impacts. However, to achieve a higher score, ensure that you fully elaborate on your points with more specific examples and a broader range of ideas.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

firstly
secondly
thirdly
in additional
moreover
also
for example
for instance
therefore
however
although
even though
despite

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

6
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
9
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

352 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

rural-to-urban migration
population shift
positive impact
negative impact
urbanization
job opportunities
access to education
access to healthcare
urban infrastructure
rural traditions
cultural heritage

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In many countries around the world, rural people are moving to cities, so the population in the countryside is decreasing. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

The best way to reduce poverty in developing countries is by giving up to six years of free education, so that they can at least read, write and use numbers. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

write a referral letter to an internal medicine

With a fast pace of modern life more and more people are dependent on fast foods as their main meals. Do you think the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?

The natural resources such as oil, forests, and fresh water are being consumed at an alarming rate. What problems does it cause? How can we solve this problems ?

explain some of the ways in which humans are damaging the environment what can governments do to address these problems