IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people believ that professionals such as doctors and engineers should be required to work in the country where they did their training. Others believe they should be free to work in another country if they wish. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

#people #believ #professionals #doctors #engineers #work #country
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There is an argument that professionals should only serve in the same
country
Use synonyms
 where they got their degrees
while
Linking Words
 others think they have the right to
work
Use synonyms
 everywhere. In
this
Linking Words
 essay, I will explain both sides and state my opinion.
Firstly
Linking Words
, the skillful worker is trained based on the condition of the local environment which will be more effective to apply it if they
work
Use synonyms
 in their training
country
Use synonyms
.
For example
Linking Words
, an engineer might learn the same basic subject but taught mostly about the construction and condition of buildings in the
country
Use synonyms
 which is not relevant if they
decided
Wrong verb form
decide
show examples
 to
work
Use synonyms
 outside their
country
Use synonyms
.
As a result
Linking Words
, they will face more challenges if they
work
Use synonyms
 outside where they finished their training.
However
Linking Words
, these experts should meet some requirements to
work
Use synonyms
 abroad which makes issues
such
Linking Words
 as the limitation of certain
country
Use synonyms
 conditions, not relevant.
For instance
Linking Words
, an Indonesian
pediatrician
Change the spelling
paediatrician
show examples
 who finished their study in the Philippines but wished to come back and
work
Use synonyms
 in Indonesia should pass the required assessments by the Ministry of Health in Indonesia.
This
Linking Words
 explains that experts have the right to
work
Use synonyms
 everywhere as long as they pass the requirements. In my opinion, professionals should have the freedom to choose where they want to apply their knowledge.
Although
Linking Words
 there might be difficulties in learning about different environmental situations if they pass the test to
work
Use synonyms
 abroad, it means they are skillful enough to contribute to the
country
Use synonyms
 they want to
work
Use synonyms
 in.
Submitted by buttercookies28 on

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coherence cohesion
Your essay demonstrates an appreciation for the logical flow of ideas but would benefit from more sophisticated linking devices and paragraphing to improve coherence. Certain paragraphs could expand on their central ideas further for improved cohesion.
task achievement
Your response addresses the task reasonably well, outlining both views and your own opinion. However, the ideas could be expanded and the response could be further developed to ensure a more complete discussion of the topic, eliminating any ambiguity.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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