Pros ans COns of television. Is it a waste time? Give your opinion

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Television
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has long been a subject of debate, with some arguing
that is
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a waste
time
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of time
show examples
and others not. The majority of the families have in
home
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the home
show examples
a
television
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that
make
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makes
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part of their routine. Let’s discuss more about and see the pros and cons of spending time with
television
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.
Firstly
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,
television
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is a source of information and knowledge. News channels keep us updated
of
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on
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what is happening
in
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at
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the
moment
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, giving us a global perspective of the world.
For example
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, the conflict
that is
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occurring between Israel and Palestine
we
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apply
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can be updated
seeing
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by seeing
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the news daily. The news
also
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can help to plan your trip
seeing
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by seeing
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the
wheather
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weather
forecast, especially if will be
a
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an
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outdoor activity. Another kind of
channels
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channel
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is the educational programs, that bring to
who
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those who
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is
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are
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watching insights into science, history and culture,
that is
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essecial
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essential
to the kids that are in the
fase
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face
phase
of learning.
Secondly
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,
televison
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television
is a means of relaxation, after a difficult day you can arrive
in
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apply
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home,
sitting
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sit
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on the sofa and take a
moment
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only for you
watching
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to watch
show examples
a comedy movie, a
documentarie
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documentary
about the wildlife in the forest or
being
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be
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emocional
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emotional
seeing a love story soap opera.
Moreover
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, the most important in watching
TV
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is
have
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to have
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a family
moment
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, all of them together around the
TV
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watching a sports
programs
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program
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or a Sunday
TV
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show, it is like in
this
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moment
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that memories are created. From de
other point
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another point
other points
show examples
of view, people who
spending
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spend
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a lot of time in front of
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TV
Add an article
the TV
show examples
and have bad habits with food can develop a sedentary lifestyle and diseases can appear like cardiac issues.
For
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To
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decrease the risk of
sedentarysm
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sedentarism
sedentary
, a diet and exercises are recommended, moderation is the key. In conclusion, as a source of information available for all people and a means of
entertreinment
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entertainment
, even considering the risk
od
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of
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sedentarysm
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sedentarism
sedentary
, in my
opinion
Add the comma(s)
opinion,
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television
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is not a time-wasting.
Submitted by aracellyfontes on

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task achievement
While the essay addresses both sides of the argument as well as the writer's opinion, the task could be further enhanced by presenting a more nuanced discussion and ensuring each paragraph has a clear central idea. The introduction would benefit from a clearer thesis statement, and the conclusion should more decisively summarize the main points discussed.
coherence cohesion
The essay shows an attempt at using cohesive devices and arranging ideas in a logical order. However, there are instances of incoherent statements and paragraphing may be improved for better clarity. The writer should focus on ensuring that each paragraph begins with a clear topic sentence and that the subsequent sentences support that topic effectively. Additionally, transitions between paragraphs could be smoother to help the reader follow the argument more easily.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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