Some people think women should be allowed to join the army, the navy and the air force just like men. To what extent do you agree ordisagree?

Nowadays, a group of people argue that
females
can perform well in the field of defence systems just like males.
However
, people are beginning to realize that military
forces
Fix the agreement mistake
force
show examples
should be available for any individual. Personally , I tend to think that
women
should improve their skills in other fields .
Firstly
, it is well known that
modern
Correct article usage
the modern
show examples
world is becoming more equal and free in terms of human skill training. What I mean is that
women
have good knowledge about social changes or world issues . In fact, there are
a
Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
show examples
many courageous
females
around the world who wish to serve their countries.
For instance
, in Croatia, the major of special
trainings
Change the wording
training
pieces of training
show examples
is for ladies ,
their
Correct pronoun usage
they
show examples
preparing
Wrong verb form
prepare
show examples
how to serve in
army
Add an article
the army
show examples
and teaching them for self -defences . These sources will help them in
this
new area.
Secondly
,
females
have more capacity to bear the pain and emotions than men.
Furthermore
,
women
can remain emotionally strong even in critical situations like war or political conflicts. Take
for example
, science has proven that men can not cope without aggression in critical situations ,
while
females
can analyse a situation without any anger issues by making better decisions. In conclusion, in recent times
women
have changed in many aspects and they should be allowed to join other fields like the army , navy or air force.
Submitted by dnm.best on

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coherence cohesion
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coherence cohesion
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coherence cohesion
Provide more development and support for your main points. This includes expanding on ideas and including further details and examples.
task achievement
Provide a balanced response to the task with appropriate expansion on your reasons. Include a thesis statement that clearly states your position, and ensure all parts of the task are addressed with adequate detail.
task achievement
Develop your ideas fully to convey them with clarity and depth. Avoid general statements and strive to present more detailed explanations and a wider range of ideas.
task achievement
Use specific examples to illustrate your points. Ensure the examples are relevant and effectively support your arguments. Generalized or hypothetical examples are less impactful.

Word Count

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Gender equality
  • Military forces (Army, Navy, Air Force)
  • Physical and psychological differences
  • Gender diversity
  • Integration
  • Harassment
  • Societal equality
  • Male-dominated environments
  • Stereotypes
  • Efficiency and effectiveness
  • Protocols
  • Case studies
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