If you could imagine an entirely different life from the one you lead, how would you want it to be?
Every person on our planet has dreamed of enormous changes at least once in their
life
. It is no secret that occasionally even adults ask themselves “what if…” questions and since this
moment the spectrum of their imagination broadens
. Wrong verb form
has broadened
However
, my story starts from early childhood when I was a little girl and did not have a clue about the real world and some serious issues that might come up on my path.
Firstly
, if I had the chance to experience a completely different life
from the one
I have now, I would definitely choose another pace. By doing so, my home would be located in a picturesque countryside. This
place would be precious for me not only because it is something extraordinary, but also
due to
the fact that it would help me with fulfilling my desires to explore the world and delve into the realms of history and mystery. Waking up every morning with a hot coffee beside me, hearing pleasing songs from birds, and enjoying the beauty of nature is a small dream of mine.
The main purpose of such
a lifestyle lies in its inherent power, reflecting my will to write. When I talk about writing, I mean the general act of it, as it brings me immense relief every time. In a quiet place, somewhere near the lake, I could imagine and express everything that comes
to my mind. I was never a fan of art, but I believe that if I lived in a place like that, my creative side would triumph over the ordinary Wrong verb form
came
one
, mainly because I would have different inspiring things around me. Moreover
, my dream is to decorate a garden and make it as welcoming as possible so that every corner of my home would
bring happiness.
It is commonly believed that only individuals in love can write satisfying poems. Wrong verb form
will
However
, I disagree with this
point of view. The main reason is the lack of balance between our souls and the surrounding events. Therefore
, I would like my life
to be as simple as possible to create an enchanting atmosphere and enjoy the beauty of our environment, which is usually hidden from the eyes of people with a loaded schedule who are unable to break from their routine.
Our lives are vast, enduring circles, and every individual should live a decent one
. However
, we do not have the right to choose where to be born. Consequently
, we have to shape ourselves the way we want to be in the future. Unfortunately, sometimes human existence is considered insignificant, when, in fact, every minor detail of one
's life
matters not only to those around us but also
to mankind as a whole. This
is the concept that I want to explain to society through my poems. Therefore
, a quiet lifestyle is a perfect way to do so.
In conclusion, while
nurturing this
dream, I am guided by a desire to convey a profound truth about the significance of home and how it impacts our well-being. Through the simplicity of a quiet lifestyle, I aspire to communicate the importance of embracing life
's details and finding meaning in the seemingly insignificant.Submitted by karolinavash2552 on
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introduction conclusion present
Your essay presents an introduction and conclusion, but they could be further enhanced for clarity. The introduction should more explicitly address the prompt, and the conclusion should effectively summarize the main points discussed in the essay.
logical structure
The essay has a logical flow, but at times the transitions between ideas can be jarring. Work on smoothing out these transitions and ensuring each paragraph flows naturally into the next.
supported main points
Main points are supported, but the support could be stronger and more directly related to the prompt. Aim to include clear examples and expand on how the points relate to the idea of an entirely different life.
complete response
You have addressed the prompt, but there were opportunities to delve deeper into the 'how' aspect of the different life you imagine. Clearer connections to how this life differs from your current one would improve task completion.
clear comprehensive ideas
While some ideas are presented clearly, others could be expanded upon for a better comprehensive understanding. Each paragraph should clearly present and explore an idea in depth.
relevant specific examples
Relevant examples are present, but they are somewhat general. Incorporate specific, detailed examples to better illustrate your envisioned life and make your arguments more persuasive.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.
Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.
When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.
Linking words for giving examples:
- for example
- for instance
- to illustrate this
- to give a clear example
- such as
- namely
- to illustrate
- take, for example