IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Some people think that economy progress is the only way to measure a country's success, while others think that there are other factors which can be used to measure a country's success. What are these factors? Which, of all factors,do you think are most important?

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Economy
Add an article
The economy
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 is a primitive factor to
assess
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assessing
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 any
country
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's
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sucess
Correct your spelling
success
; if the
economy
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 is higher,
revenues
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 would be higher too. Some economists have firm believe that generating high
revenues
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 are the only factor to
measures
Wrong verb form
measure
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 success,
however
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, I
belive
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believe
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 there are some other
fileds
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fields
files
 too
thats
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that
helps
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help
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 to boost
Correct article usage
the contry's
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contry's
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country's
 spirit and
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sucess
Correct your spelling
success
 which are discussed in the following paragraphs
along with
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 my opinion. To commence with, the
economy
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 of any
country
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 is considered the prime factor to measure
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sucess
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success
; if the
revenues
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 are higher,
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infrastructure
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the infrastructure
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 and basic
amenties
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amenities
 of that
country
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 would be greater in comparison to the developing
country
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. To illustrate, the United States is considered the most powerful
country
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 throughout the universe, as
its
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it
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 creates high
revenues
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 and most companies like Apple and Google established their headquarters in
US
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the US
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 as it is capable
to
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of
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faciliate
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facilitating
such
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 companies in funding to grow or invest
further
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.
Moreover
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, if the
economy
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 of a nation is higher, the residents of that
country
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 would be better
accessible
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access
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 to basic amenities like
eduction
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education
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, medical and
infrastructure
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.
On the other hand
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, there are many other factors like health care, education, sports and
infrastructure
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also
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assiciated
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associated
 with the
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sucess
Correct your spelling
success
 of a nation.
For instance
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, Australia is quite famous in sports as most of its residents play games; Australian cricketers won
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the
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World Cup
in
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apply
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this
Linking Words
 year which brought
pretigious
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prestige
 and respect to the
country
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. Apart from that,
health
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the health
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 care of a
country
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Linking Words
also
Add a missing verb
is also
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 imperative to measure
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sucess
Correct your spelling
success
. To summarize,
although
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,
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economy
Add an article
the economy
show examples
 is imperative to suceed,
however
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, I firmly believe,
health
Correct word choice
that health
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 care, education and
infrastructure
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also
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 are equally important to assess
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Correct article usage
the sucess
show examples
sucess
Correct your spelling
success
 of any
country
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.

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introduction conclusion present
Ensure the introduction clearly states the essay's position and outline the points that will be discussed. The conclusion should effectively summarize the points made without introducing new information.
logical structure
Work on the logical flow of ideas by using clear and appropriate paragraphing. Each paragraph should contain one clear main idea with supporting sentences that develop the idea.
supported main points
Provide specific, relevant examples to support your arguments, ensuring that they are clearly connected to your main points.
complete response
A complete response requires fully responding to all parts of the task. It seems that the essay does not fully engage with all parts of the question as it does not equally discuss other factors for measuring a country's success as thoroughly as the economic aspect, nor does it clearly state which factors the writer believes to be most important.
clear comprehensive ideas
Ensure that the ideas presented are comprehensive and expressed in a clear manner, avoiding repetition and unclear statements. The arguments made should be clear and well-structured to aid the examiner in understanding your position.
relevant specific examples
Include relevant and specific examples to reinforce the points made in your essay. These examples help to illustrate your arguments and make your essay more convincing.
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