IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5.5

The bar chart below shows the top ten countries for the production and consumption of electricity in 2014. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant

The bar chart below shows the top ten countries for the production and consumption of electricity in 2014. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant
#bar #ten #countries #production #consumption #electricity #information #features #comparisons
The given bar chart indicates that the figures
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
 electricity
cousumed
Correct your spelling
consumed
 and
producted
Correct your spelling
produced
 in terms of
top
Correct article usage
the top
show examples
 ten countries - China, the United States, Russia, Japan, India, Canada, French, Brazil, Germany, and Korea.
Overall
, it can be
saw
Wrong verb form
seen
show examples
 that the consumption and the
profetion
Correct your spelling
profession
 of China
was
Change the verb form
were
show examples
 the highest
in
Change preposition
of
show examples
 these ten countries. After that, the United
Stateds
Correct your spelling
States
 is the second
Correct quantifier usage
most resorces-consumed
show examples
resorces-consumed
Correct your spelling
resources-consumed
 country.
In contrast
, Korea consumed the
last
resoures
Correct your spelling
resources
 in 2014. Specifically, the number of
electricity's
Change noun form
electricity
show examples
 production was 5.398
billion
kWh
 in China, which was ten times more than the production of electricity in Korea (485.1
billion
KWh
).
Moreover
, the
amount
Change the quantifier
number
show examples
 of resources
producted
Correct your spelling
produced
 and consumed in the United States was 4,099
billion
kwh
Correct your spelling
kWh
 and 3,866
billion
kWh
 respectively,
That
Correct pronoun usage
Which
show examples
 was
appeoximately
Correct your spelling
approximately
 4 times more than the numbers of Russia.
Submitted by Nini on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
▼
Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Vocabulary: Replace the words billion, kwh with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Only 6 basic words for charts were used.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
▼
Topic Vocabulary:
  • dual aspect
  • electricity production
  • electricity consumption
  • industrial base
  • population size
  • significant difference
  • surplus
  • deficit
  • electrical energy
  • ranking
  • economic patterns
  • industrial patterns
  • technological advancements
  • disparity
  • industrial development
  • economic capabilities
  • anomalies
  • export
  • import
  • energy efficiency
  • waste
What to do next:
Look at other essays: