IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Nowadays many people complain that they have difficulties getting enough sleep. What problems can lack of sleep cause? What can be done about leg of sleep?

Several
human
Change to a plural noun
humans
show examples
 can not sleep well
cause
Correct word choice
because
show examples
 there are several
factor
Change to a plural noun
factors
show examples
. There are several
problem
Change to a plural noun
problems
show examples
thay
Correct your spelling
that
people
Use synonyms
are
Verb problem
have
show examples
difficult
Replace the word
difficulty
show examples
to sleep
Change the verb form
sleeping
show examples
 because they have
bad
Correct article usage
a bad
show examples
lifestyle
Fix the agreement mistake
lifestyles
show examples
 and have
depression
Use synonyms
.
Therefore
Linking Words
, it must
to
Change the verb form
apply
show examples
fix and back to normal life. The main problem of human
can
Verb problem
apply
show examples
not
sleep
Wrong verb form
sleeping
show examples
 well is
about
Change preposition
apply
show examples
their lifestyle and
have
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
depression
Use synonyms
 about their
work
Use synonyms
. They are
consumtion
Correct your spelling
consumption
consuming
 too much caffeine because they have
deadline
Fix the agreement mistake
deadlines
show examples
 to finish their project, so they must
work
Use synonyms
 overtime. If they do not finish on schedule, they are sacked from their job.
For example
Linking Words
, my cousin is one of
Use synonyms
people
Add an article
the people
show examples
that
Correct pronoun usage
who
show examples
 can not sleep well. He always drinks
coffee
Use synonyms
everyday
Correct your spelling
every
show examples
due
Linking Words
to
Change preposition
because
show examples
he must finish his project which
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
has
deadline
Add an article
a deadline
show examples
, so he
feel
Change the verb form
feels
show examples
panic
Replace the word
panicky
show examples
 and
Use synonyms
depression
Replace the word
depressed
show examples
.
Therefore
Linking Words
, he can not sleep well every night
cause
Correct word choice
because
show examples
 he drinks too much
coffee
Use synonyms
 and
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
depression
Use synonyms
of
Change preposition
at
show examples
work
Use synonyms
. It has several ways to fix
lack
Correct article usage
a lack
show examples
sleep
Change preposition
of sleep
show examples
.
First,
Linking Words
people
Use synonyms
 can do exercise like running and swimming every day.
Second,
Linking Words
they must reduce their
consumtion
Correct your spelling
consumption
 of
coffee
Use synonyms
 even
it
Correct word choice
if it
show examples
 is not easy.
Last
Linking Words
, they must
more
Add a missing verb
be more
show examples
 calm to face their project.
For instance
Linking Words
,
last
Linking Words
 year my sister
had lack
Wrong verb form
lacked
show examples
 sleep, but she
sleep
Change the verb form
sleeps
show examples
 well now because she is gym and
reduce
Wrong verb form
has reduced
show examples
Use synonyms
coffee
Correct pronoun usage
her coffee
show examples
. She
also
Linking Words
 told me that she is more calm to face
deadline
Fix the agreement mistake
deadlines
show examples
 of
work
Use synonyms
, so she can sleep well now.
To sum up
Linking Words
, several
people
Use synonyms
 can not sleep well because
their
Change preposition
of their
show examples
 lifestyle and
Use synonyms
depression
Correct article usage
the depression
show examples
 of their
work
Use synonyms
, but it could fix and back to normal life.

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coherence cohesion
The essay lacks clear logical structure and paragraphing. Each paragraph should focus on one main idea and be clearly separated from the others. Establish clear connections between your ideas.
coherence cohesion
An introduction and conclusion are present but inadequate. The introduction should clearly address the prompt and outline the structure of the essay. The conclusion should summarize the main points and restate the position.
coherence cohesion
While some main points are supported with examples, they are not sufficiently developed. Make sure each paragraph expands upon the idea presented, supplying detailed explanations and elaboration.
task achievement
The response to the task is incomplete. You must cover all parts of the prompt thoroughly. Remember to answer both questions posed by the prompt: the problems caused by lack of sleep and solutions to lack of sleep.
task achievement
Ideas are presented but are not fully clear or comprehensive. Aim to clarify your arguments and support them with specific, well-articulated points.
task achievement
Relevant examples are present but are not adequately specific or detailed. Ensure that examples clearly illustrate the argument you are making and provide a deeper insight into the issue.
Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • sleep deprivation
  • insomnia
  • chronic fatigue
  • sedentary lifestyle
  • circadian rhythm
  • sleep apnea
  • melatonin
  • hygiene practices
  • relaxation techniques
  • meditation
  • stimulant
  • psychological wellbeing
  • cognitive functions
  • neurological
  • therapeutic
  • behavioral modification
  • holistic approach
  • counterproductive
  • screen time
  • REM (Rapid Eye Movement) sleep
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