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Band 5.5

Buying things on the Internet, such as books, air tickets and groceries, is becoming more and more popular. Do the advantages of shopping in this way outweigh the disadvantages?

#internet #books #air #tickets #groceries
Currently, brick-and-mortar or physical stores are slowly vanishing, giving way to the onslaught of virtual stores. With the exception of
few
Correct article usage
a few
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 disadvantages, online shopping has tremendous benefits and it will dominate the global business even more in the coming future. Admittedly, it is true that online shopping does not allow someone to physically inspect a product before buying it and
this
 often leads to customer dissatisfaction.
Thus
, the products ending up with return
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
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comparative
Change the adjective
comparatively
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 higher when they are purchased online.
However
,
this
 can easily be avoided by being cautious and relying on reputed brands.
However
, the possible risk of online shopping is totally overshadowed by its numerous benefits.
To begin
 with, online shopping enables consumers to access a wide range of products and services, including apparel, groceries, tickets and so on. They no longer need to travel a long distance or wait in a long queue to pay their bills or withdraw cash. With the widespread use of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
hand-held smart devices and the Internet, shopping is just a few finger taps away.
This
 saves valuable
times
Fix the agreement mistake
time
show examples
 and enables people to use e-commerce which is more secure than conventional transactions.
Apart from
this
, pollution can be mitigated if consumers stay home and lessen
the
Change the word
their
show examples
 reliance on various forms of transport. Some consumers do not have to travel to and from stores, so the environmental impact of commuting can be reduced. From a business owner's perspective, online shopping permits them to run the business 24x7 and without the need for any extra staff, utility bills and so on.
This
 permits them to offer products at a more competitive price.
To conclude
, the overwhelming benefits online shopping offers far outweigh the few demerits it has. I personally am an online shopper and I believe that
this
 has immensely improved our freedom of shopping and lifestyle.
Submitted by odongua on

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coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear central idea and that ideas are logically organized throughout the essay. Avoid abrupt transitions by using cohesive devices to indicate relationships between ideas effectively.
task achievement
Adjust the balance of the essay to thoroughly address both sides of the argument. Develop each point more fully with specific examples and explanations. Elaborate on the implications, comparisons, and contrasts to show a deeper understanding of the topic.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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You are not ready for IELTS Speaking, if you

  • Can’t speak smoothly without pauses.
  • Use simple words and lack vocabulary.
  • Feel nervous and anxious when speaking.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • convenience
  • time-saving
  • wide selection
  • competitive prices
  • discounts
  • accessibility
  • global marketplace
  • availability
  • fraud
  • scams
  • lack of
  • physical interaction
  • personal experience
  • impersonal
  • customer service
  • delays
  • delivery
  • return process
What to do next:
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