IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people like to try new things, for example, places to visit and types of food. Other people prefer to keep doing things they are familiar with. Discuss both these attitudes and give your own opinion.

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Nowadays, many
people
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 are interested in exploring new
things
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such
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 as travelling to new places,
eating
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and eating
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 a variety of cuisines to
experience
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 new
things
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 in their
life
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lives
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.
However
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, some
people
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 feel that doing activities that involve repetitions
are
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is
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 more calming and comfortable for them. In
this
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 essay, I will try to examine these two behaviours. On the one hand, exploring new
things
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 they have never done before is a unique
experience
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 for everyone because it lets you go out of your comfort zone.
Additionally
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,
people
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that
Correct pronoun usage
who
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 are enthusiastic about searching for new
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experience
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experiences
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 will have a greater will to adapt to new
things
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.
For example
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,
people
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that
Correct pronoun usage
who
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 have a habit of doing actions that they never have done before
has
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have
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 a higher chance of surviving in conditions they have never felt before because of their past
experience
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 navigating through a difficult time.
Thus
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, I believe individuals
that
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who
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 are brave enough to step out of their comfort zone are going to better manage hard conditions.
On the other hand
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,
people
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 who have a habit of repetition are more kin of their work as they are more comfortable doing it.
This
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 is the result of constant exposure to a certain activity or muscle memory that has been exposed to them.
As a result
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,
this
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 type of individual has formed a habit so they have a harder time changing their everyday movement.
For example
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, someone who has formed an addiction to something needs therapy to
to
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apply
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get them healed from their addiction
such
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 as gambling or playing games.
Hence
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,
things
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 that are familiar to them could give them more happiness and joy. In conclusion, there are two types of
people
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 the one that likes to do new
things
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 and the other one who enjoys the usual
things
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.

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coherence cohesion
While your essay presents the basic structure of an Introduction, Main Body, and Conclusion, which is good, it would benefit from clearer transition phrases between ideas and paragraphs. This will improve the logical flow and make your arguments easier to follow.
coherence cohesion
Introduce each paragraph with a clear topic sentence, which outlines the main idea of the paragraph, followed by supporting sentences that develop this idea in more detail.
task achievement
You have addressed the topic, which is positive, and presented a conclusion that reflects your opinion. However, ensure that your opinion is also clearly stated in the introduction and that all parts of the prompt have been fully answered to achieve a higher score.
task achievement
Expand on your ideas by offering more in-depth analysis and by including a greater range of relevant examples. Your examples should be detailed and precisely aligned with the argument you are presenting.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Novelty
  • Routine
  • Comfort zone
  • Risk-taker
  • Risk-averse
  • Enrichment
  • Personal growth
  • Innovation
  • Creativity
  • Stability
  • Tradition
  • Habit
  • Familiarity
  • Personal enrichment
  • Life stages
  • Fulfilling
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