IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Some believe advertisement is useful and informative. Others think it is false and helps to raise prices. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#believe #advertisement #prices
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In the modern era advertising is a very common issue, every company promotes their
products
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 on online and offline news for selling purposes. Some community claim that it a very impactful for getting better
products
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 and
also
Linking Words
 getting the perfect knowledge of those
products
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,
on the other hand
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, some amount of
people
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 believe that promoting a product in online and offline
media
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 is a scam and only increase the prices of those
products
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. I partially agree that advertising has a positive side, and I
also
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 claim that it has some negative effects.
To begin
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 with I want to mention that there are a lot of
products
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 available in the
market
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, when promotional
ads
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people
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 are seeing on the
media
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 they get the perfect information about the
products
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 and they receive the perfect
products
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 from the
market
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.
for
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example
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 one of my friends bought a phone from the
market
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 and he saw an ad for that phone on tv, In that ad he got the perfect information about why the phone was best. Another important fact is that, when a person travels to another country he searches the information on social
media
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 to perfect hotels for him.
Then
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 there are a high number of options shown by the
media
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then
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 he gets the chance to choose the perfect hotel for him.
This
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 is possible for the advertisement, if there are no
ads
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 available the man cannot get the perfect hotels for him. On the other part, some negative issues are happening, like some companies claiming that they are best in the
ads
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, but they don'
t
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 provide the perfect things for their customers.
For
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example
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, some e-commerce companies don'
t
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 provide the perfect
products
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, but in
ads
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, they claim they are providing the best
products
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. Another important
example
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 is that, with those kids of TV
ads
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 they unusually raise the prices of their
products
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, they promote their
products
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 with a celebrity person
then
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people
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 believe that it is expensive
products
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, but the
products
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 are not that expensive.
For
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example
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,
people
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 buy an expensive car because of celebrity told them that
this
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 is the best, on the
market
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 the same car has a cheap price with another company but they don'
t
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 have promotions. In conclusion, I want to say that there is a positive side if we choose the perfect
products
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 from advertising, but if we don'
t
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 do that we can'
t
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 get the positive things.
Submitted by ilhanctg2019 on

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coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear central idea, which is expanded with specific details. Each paragraph should begin with a topic sentence that introduces the main point clearly.
coherence cohesion
Use a variety of linking words to connect ideas and sentences within paragraphs for better flow. Repeating the same connecting words can make the essay seem monotonous.
task achievement
Develop your paragraphs with specific examples. Use real-world instances, data, or hypothetical scenarios that illustrate your point effectively.
task achievement
Your opinion should be stated clearly at the beginning of the essay, developed throughout, and restated in the conclusion for greater impact.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Consumers
  • Informed decisions
  • Promotions
  • Economy
  • Manipulates
  • Unnecessary
  • Distort
  • Exaggerated claims
  • Misinformation
  • Consumerism
  • Wasteful consumption
  • Resources
  • Market growth
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