Some people say that children should play games which require teamwork such as football and basketball whereas, some think they should be doing individual sports such as swimming and running. Do you agree or disagree?

#people #children #games #teamwork #football #basketball #think #sports

this

contemporary epoch,

sports

are crucial for

children

to stay fit and healthy.

However

Add a comma

However,

show examples

there are two predominantly contrasting views

whereas

Correct word choice

apply

show examples

a section of society claims that

kids

must be indulged in

such

Fix the agreement mistake

apply

show examples

games

which need teamwork like football and basketball

while

others emphasize that

kids

should do individual

sports

activities namely swimming and running.I agree

Change preposition

with

show examples

the notion that

kids

should do both

kind

Change to a plural noun

kinds

show examples

games

. Apparently,playing

games

should be

significant

Correct article usage

a significant

show examples

task each day for teenagers whether

the

Correct article usage

show examples

plethora of players

are

Change the verb form

show examples

required.If

children

are engaged in playing

footbal

Correct your spelling

football

and basketball ,they can improve their efficiency in a team.

For example

adolscents

Correct your spelling

adolescents

can build strong relationships

among

Change preposition

with

show examples

each other.

Secondly

kids

may learn teamwork qualities if they prefer to play football and basketball.

For instance

,players can acquire how to play in a team? and they can

also

build leadership qualities among themselves.

On the other hand

,playing

sports

individually would be beneficial for myriad reasons.Chiefly,

children

will enhance their confidence if they do

sports

such

as swimming and running individually.To cite an example,

children

who

take

Verb problem

apply

show examples

participate in swimming and running ,

they

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

can become more confident and

become

Verb problem

apply

show examples

bold.

Moreover

children

can learn how to become a responsible person in life.

For example

kids

who play any

games

on their own ,are more accountable than others.

To conclude

Change the capitalization

show examples

firmly believe that players must play in both ways.They should give preference to

sports

which require teamwork ,leadership,confidence,

energy

Correct word choice

and energy

show examples

Hence

toddlers may learn a wide range of skills.

Submitted by nav93deep12 on Fri Dec 08 2023

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task response

The essay presents both sides of the argument, discussing the benefits of team sports and individual sports for children. Ensure that you address the task fully by taking a clear position on whether you agree or disagree with the statement. While you did provide a stance in the conclusion, it needs to be clearly presented in the introduction as well for a cohesive argument structure.

coherence cohesion

Ensure that your essay has a clear and logical structure. While points are made for both sides of the argument, transitions between ideas could be improved to enhance coherence. Refrain from switching topics abruptly and instead use cohesive devices to guide the reader smoothly from one idea to the next.

Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!

Do you want to check your IELTS essays?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

13Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
16Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

232 words

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

Topic Vocabulary:

teamwork
collaboration
social skills
self-reliance
goal setting
pressure
unity
cooperation
social anxieties
interpersonal skills
personal achievement
diverse groups
encouraging
stressful
broaden
instill
directly linked
competitive

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

7
band
Q) Some people prefer to spend their lives doing the same things and avoid any change. others, however, think that change is always a good thing. discuss both views and give your opinion.
Today, work-life balance is a viral societal debate. Some people argue that maintaining a robust consistent routine while dodging minimal changes is the ultimate way to live. Others, however, disagree and prefer to get the utmost out of life by changing their skin constantly. I believe that life, in general, is a daring adventure or nothing. In this context, it is a matter of debate.
<4
band
It is the duty of governments to protect children's health by fighting obesity. The government should implement laws against sugary drinks and fast food restaurants and take other measures as well. Do you agree or disagree with the statement.
These days sugar are every where I would say that the government should stand in the way of obesity, And add some laws agains companies that made any prodcuts contains sugar like measuring the level of the sugar.
6.5
band
Rich countries often give money to poorer countries, but it does not solve poverty. Therefore, developed countries should give other types of help to the poor countries rather than financial aid. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
The issue of how developing countries should assist the underestimated ones is a matter of ongoing debate. Personally, I agree with this sentiment.
5
band
It is important for people to take risks, both in their professional lives and their personal lives. Do you think the advantages of taking ricks outweigh the disadvantages?
Putting in a situation in which bad results can happen is becoming essential for individuals' life, including in their career and their own lives. From this writer's perspective, the benefits of expanding their range of horizon and key skills outweigh the drawbacks of potential risks of painful failure, even the death.
5
band
In today’s world, private companies rather than the government pay for and conduct most scientific research. Do you think the disadvantages outweigh the advantages?
Recently, most of reserach activity has been funded and operated by private companies. Although the process may consume an effective amount of time, it actually can restrain the knowledge and information delivery. Considering those points, I do believe that the disadvantage outweighs the advantage.

Some people say that children should play games which require teamwork such as football and basketball whereas, some think they should be doing individual sports such as swimming and running. Do you agree or disagree?

Word Count

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Q) Some people prefer to spend their lives doing the same things and avoid any change. others, however, think that change is always a good thing. discuss both views and give your opinion.

It is the duty of governments to protect children's health by fighting obesity. The government should implement laws against sugary drinks and fast food restaurants and take other measures as well. Do you agree or disagree with the statement.

Rich countries often give money to poorer countries, but it does not solve poverty. Therefore, developed countries should give other types of help to the poor countries rather than financial aid. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

It is important for people to take risks, both in their professional lives and their personal lives. Do you think the advantages of taking ricks outweigh the disadvantages?

In today’s world, private companies rather than the government pay for and conduct most scientific research. Do you think the disadvantages outweigh the advantages?